


Zeeplabor: The Early Days Omnibus

by DancouMaryuu



Series: Zeeplabor - The Mobile Police [1]
Category: Kidou Keisatsu Patlabor | Mobile Police Patlabor, Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Patlabor Fusion, Gen, Giant Robots, Mecha, No Patlabor Characters, Patlabor - Freeform, Police, Real Robot, Slice of Life, This is an AU but in ten years who knows...?, serial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-05-18 07:04:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14848010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancouMaryuu/pseuds/DancouMaryuu
Summary: COMPILATION OF THE FIRST TWO ZEEPLABOR SERIALSIn Zootopia, only small mammals can pilot the giant industrial robots known as 'Labors'. The advent of the ZPD Patrol Labor - or 'Zeeplabor' - has given Judy Hopps the opportunity to pursue her lifelong dream of joining the police. However, driving a giant robot isn't as glamorous as it seems, and the slacker fox assigned to back her up is NOT helping!





	1. Fifty-One-Fifty - Part I

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah! This is a "fusion fic" between "Zootopia" and the anime franchise "Patlabor - the Mobile Police."
> 
> I know that many Zootopia fans may not have seen (or even heard of) Patlabor (if you haven't, I highly recommend it), so I'm going to try and ease you into it the same way the Patlabor series did.
> 
> You may occasionally catch the odd soundtrack link (there's one right at the beginning of the fic marked "[OST1]") to ~~let me gush over the music of Kenji Kawai, Toshihiko Sahashi, Micheal Giacchino, et. al~~ help you get into the swing of things.
> 
> One last note for reviewers: I welcome constructive criticism, but I appreciate it when you folks tell me what you enjoyed about my works. I'd like to be able to get to the point where the entire story is the best part, but in the meantime I'd like to focus on making the most engaging elements even better.
> 
> Either way, enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Judy Hopps has made it into her dream job (or the closest approximation thereof) - but there's a ways to go before she can get out on the streets - particularly since the Zeeplabor she's supposed to pilot isn't even here yet!
> 
> ...and all the while, she has to contend with a slacker fox for a co-worker!

_[[OST1]](https://youtu.be/YdySNiW9vpU) _

**Labor: The name coined to describe giant robots built for heavy industrial use.**

* * *

_"That Gideon Grey doesn't know what he's talking about!"_

_"Well… He was right about one thing – I_ don't  _know when to quit!"_

* * *

**Their cramped cockpits mean that usually only small mammals can pilot them effectively.**

* * *

_"Knock 'em dead, Nicky!"_

_"You got it, Mom!"_

* * *

**The advent of Labors sparked a revolution in construction and engineering, and opened up new opportunities for the small mammals piloting them.**

**However, this breakthrough lead to a new threat to society; Labor crime.**

* * *

_"Well, what'll you do with him now? The Old Guard's_ not _happy."_

_"And I can't be seen to punish him or the media will throw a fit… Hang on. What if I stuck him with that new Zeeplabor Division?"_

_"Kicking him upstairs?"_

_"Call it what you will, but hopefully there he'll be out of our fur and_ in _Polecatsky's shadow, and we'll look like we're rewarding him to boot!"_

* * *

**To address this threat, the Zootopia Police Department created a new type of Labor – the ZPD Patrol Labor.**

* * *

_"Ms. Inaba?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"I thought I'd come and let you know before I gave the good news to your father. The AV-98 passed with flying colors!"_

_"That's great! We'll need to see how the ZPD handles those first three units to be sure, but I've got a good feeling about this! Ooh! I can't_ wait  _to see who they pick to pilot those bad boys!"_

* * *

**Thus, the 'Zeeplabor' was born…**

* * *

Out on the stretch of the western coast of Savanna Central, the #88 bus trundled its way along otherwise deserted streets lined by industrial buildings behind chain link fences, and crisscrossed by quiet railway tracks. Here and there, it stopped to pick up or drop off the odd rhino, bear, or bull warehouse worker, but for the most part, it carried few passengers.

As the buildings began to thin out closer to the coasts, the bus ground to a halt. The rear doors opened, and the tiny, lithe, grey-furred form of a grey rabbit stepped onto curb.

As the bus pulled away behind her, Judy Hopps took in the quiet surroundings, the wind carrying a bit of sea air in her direction, before walking a little further down the street.

Judy then turned at the next right, towards the sea, as the industrial park thinned out even more before the road turned sharply to the left. Large fields now surrounded the buildings that had their backs to the sea. One of these warehouses – or at least, what _looked_ like a warehouse – interested her in particular, as she turned into its grounds.

The young rabbit's nose twitched as she thought about how out-of-the-way her new workplace was. But that didn't stop her from breaking into a dash as she passed through the open gate. She wasn't going to miss this for the world!

After speeding through the door, Judy's paws ground to a halt as an overweight cheetah, carrying in a box of doughnuts while humming the latest Gazelle hit, swung into view.

Judy uttered a short cry as she ground to a halt inches from the base of the big cat's tail, before losing her balance and falling on her fluffy tail. The stunned cheetah jumped forward and turned around, taking in Judy at last.

"Aw, geez!" The portly cheetah winced. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine…" Judy hefted herself to her feet, looking at the cheetah's uniform, which was the same as hers: a navy vest overtop a paler blue shirt, with the words 'SV-2' in gold on the right-hand side, opposite a police badge. The gold letters signified that both mammals belonged to the ZPD's Special Vehicles Bureau, Second Section.

Obviously the cheetah wasn't a Labor pilot – even a skinny cheetah wouldn't fit in most Labor cockpits. Maybe he was there as a technician or something?

"Oh, are you with the new Division?" he said.

"You bet!" said Judy, puffing out her chest and putting her hands on her hips.

"You're here early," said the cheetah, smiling down at the comparatively tiny rabbit.

"Figured I ought to be," said Judy. "Say, where's Division 2 meeting again?"

"Oh, Ready Room 2," said the cheetah, pointing at the staircase to Judy's left. "Up there."

"Thanks!" Once again Judy was off like a shot, rocketing up the stairs, before realizing that she didn't know which of the rooms in the hallway was Ready Room 2.

Suddenly, a door opened, and once again, Judy flung herself to a halt, this time in front of a sleek spotted skunk donning a regular blue police uniform – _sans_ vest.

"Oh, sorry!" the skunk jolted back from Judy. "I didn't see you."

"Oh, it's my fault," said Judy. "I wasn't looking."

Just then, Judy saw 'POLECATSKY' on the gold nameplate on the uniform's breast, and her purple eyes went wide. "You're Anna Polecatsky, aren't you?"

The skunk tilted her head. "Yes…?"

"You… You _rock_! I'm a _big_ fan!" Judy reached forward and vigorously shook the skunk's paw. "I don't think I'd be here if it weren't for you!"

"Oh…" Polecatsky rubbed the back of her neck as she gingerly returned the handshake. "I… wasn't the _only_ first-generation Zeeplabor pilot."

"But they say you were the _best_!"

Anna Polecatsky's skill as a Zeeplabor pilot had led her rapidly rising through the ranks. Now, as a Captain of SV2 Division 1, she was the ZPD's highest-ranking mammal outside the Little Rodentia Borough Police who weighed less than sixty pounds.

"I… wouldn't really know what 'they' say…" Captain Polecatsky chuckled. "Anyway, you don't see my name in the tabloids, so I wouldn't call myself a celebrity. Are you part of the new Division 2?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Judy snapped into a salute. "Officer Judy Hopps – ZPD Special Vehicles, Second Section, Division 2, at your service!"

"Glad to have you onboard." The skunk smiled before pointing a claw at a door down the hall. "Ready Room 2's that door there. Good luck!"

"Thanks!"

'Good luck'?

Judy stepped through the open door of Ready Room 2 to find a room bare of furniture, save for a kitchenette on the far wall – one obviously sized for much larger mammals. A large window faced onto the field and Big Bayou Bay.

Judy's nose twitched as she wondered if Polecatsky had been pointing to a different room – Zeeplabor Divisions wouldn't spend their time on-duty between calls in an unfurnished room, right?

No. The lettering on the door said 'READY ROOM 2'. But that didn't explain the lack of furniture.

All Judy could do was sit down, cross-legged against the wall under the window, hoping the other Division 2 officers would shed some light on the matter.

About five or ten minutes later, Judy caught the first of her new co-workers coming into the room.

"Oho! And here I thought _I_ was the early bird!" he said.

It was obviously a male, wearing an SV2 uniform and wire-rimmed glasses, but Judy couldn't really tell what species this mammal was. The newcomer was squat, heavily built, and with thick, grey-brown fur. As he smiled, Judy caught the slightest sign of tusks under his lips. The new mammal's muzzle was also rather short, but pointed, with long black whiskers.

"Howard Hylander, at your service," said the new mammal, extending a padded paw Judy's way.

"Judy Hopps." Judy returned the handshake. "And that bit about us rabbits being quick on our feet isn't _all_ stereotype."

"Yes…" Hylander chuckled as he sat down next to Judy. "Pity there's no such endearing stereotypes for us hyraxes – it'd mean less existential crises!"

Judy chuckled, making a mental note to read up on hyraxes.

"Now, judging by that lilt in your accent, I'd say you're from the country…" Hylander stared long and hard at Judy. "Burrows County, I'm guessing?"

"Bunnyburrow to be exact," Judy smiled.

"Ah, I figured!" the hyrax pulled back. "Long way to travel, no?"

"Working in the police has been my dream since I was a kit," said Judy.

"Ah, I can relate…" sighed Hylander, staring at the ceiling. "I'd have joined the army if I'd had the chance. Alas, _this_ uniform will have to suffice." He placed his thumbs under his vest for emphasis."

"Uh… e-excuse me?" came a somewhat nasal voice.

Judy and Hylander looked to the door, where a short, bespectacled beaver in an SV2 uniform was peering into the room. "This _is_ where Division 2 is supposed to meet, right?"

"Far as we know," said Judy.

"Oh…" The beaver slowly waddled into the room, taking what looked like a popsicle stick out of his pocket. "I-I'm not late, am I?" he asked through grimaced buckteeth.

"No, not at all," said Hylander. "In fact, you're a little bit early."

"Oh, okay then…" the beaver sighed, placing one end of the popsicle stick in his mouth and beginning to chew on it as he walked up to Judy and Hylander, extending a shaky, webbed hand to Judy. "Uh, I'm Earl Beaverbrook."

"Judy Hopps," Judy shook the beaver's paw.

"Howard Hylander," said Hylander, doing the same soon after, eyes glancing to the clock hanging above the door. "Is that clock right?"

Beaverbrook glanced to his wristwatch. "I… think so?"

"Hmmm," Hylander's brow furrowed. "You'd think we'd see more of the other officers in the Division by now…"

"You think so, eh?" said Beaverbrook.

"From what I was told, there'd be two active Labors," said Hylander. "That means two Forwards, two backups, and two carrier drivers. That makes for six. We are three."

"Four, actually." Everyone turned up to see the portly cheetah from downstairs lumber into the room, still tucking the box of donuts under his arm, a warm smile on his overstuffed cheeks. "I'm Benjamin Clawhauser. I'm gonna be with you guys, too."

"Oh, I saw you by the door," said Beaverbrook. "I thought you were with Division 1."

"Oh, I used to be," said Clawhauser. "I only just got transferred here. I've been earmarked for carrier duty."

"That still leaves two of us unaccounted for," said Hylander.

"I've met our new Captain," said Clawhauser. "He said one of us won't be here for a week or so. Some unfinished business at their last post, he says."

"That just leaves one MIA," huffed Hylander. "Where could he be? It's almost time for roll!"

"Not 'almost', officer." The room turned to the door.

In walked a massive Cape buffalo, built like a football player. A haggard frown was etched onto his face, and a wad of papers was tucked under his arm.

Clawhauser was the first to salute the newcomer. The others soon joined him after noticing the Captain's badge on the buffalo's blue uniform, opposite the gold nameplate with the word 'BOGO' on it.

"At ease," huffed Captain Bogo, taking a pair of half-moon glasses out of his pocket and leafing through the papers. "Now, you all saw my name on your transfer papers, I betting, so I'm not going to bother introducing myself. Besides which, I don't care."

Judy, Hylander, and Beaverbrook glanced from one to the other of them at that last remark before turning to Clawhauser, who just shrugged.

"Now, you may or may not be aware of this," Bogo continued. "But since one of us has yet to be formally transferred, we will have an incomplete complement of officers for our first week or so." A scowl soon worked its way across Bogo's face. "However, I _have_ noticed that there is another one of us who has yet to put in an appearance-"

" _I'm here!"_ came a voice behind the bull.

Everyone looked down to see a lanky, russet-furred, green-eyed fox with a brown-tipped tail and an SV2 uniform make a mad dash into the Ready Room.

" _Phew_!" The fox skidded to a halt in the center of the room in front of Bogo, an odious smirk forming on his muzzle. "Meeting start yet?"

Bogo sneered down at the fox. "Officer Nicholas Wilde, I presume?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, species and name explanation time!
> 
> Anna Polecatsky \- Spotted skunk ( _Spilogale putorius_ ) - Spotted skunks are also known as "polecats" in some regions.
> 
> Howard Hylander \- Western tree hyrax ( _Dendrohyrax dorsalis_ )
> 
> Earl Beaverbrook \- North American beaver ( _Castor canadensis_ ) - His name is also a reference to Anglo-Canadian press baron and politician Max Aitken, aka. Lord Beaverbrook.
> 
>  
> 
>    
>  **BACKGROUND MUSIC:**
> 
> 1) Kenji Kawai - "Prologue" - from _The Next Generation: Patlabor_


	2. Fifty-One-Fifty - Part II

"I would appreciate it if you showed up on time in future," growled Bogo, glaring down at the fox.

"Sorry, Cap'n," said the fox, smirk not budging. "You know what traffic in this city is like."

"Wilde, the point of your coming on duty so early was to avoid morning rush hour," said Bogo.

Wilde just shrugged and walked over to the other officers, slouching against the wall beside Beaverbrook, who edged away, his flat tail knocking briefly against the wall behind him.

"We'll discuss your tardiness later," said Bogo, pointedly adjusting his glasses before turning back to his papers. "Now as I was saying, there were supposed to be seven of us in total, but until our final member arrives, us six will have to make do, so I'll be filling in myself.

"Now, also missing at the moment are our actual Labors. Headquarters, in its wisdom, has given us three – and I quote – 'not-quite-prototype' AV-98 Ingrowl patrol Labors from Inaba Heavy Industries. Right now they're still being checked over, and won't arrive until tomorrow night at earliest."

Judy's nose twitched. Prototypes?

Bogo continued. "Now you should know that these three units may be rough around the edges. That's because Headquarters – in exchange for a reduced price tag – has agreed to let Inaba look at how we use them so they can use what they find to help develop newer Zeeplabors down the road.

"Now one of the new machines, Unit 3, will be kept in storage here as a relief Labor for emergencies and for spare parts. Units 1 and 2 will be our 'active' units.

"Now with that out of the way," Bogo regarded his five officers. "Here are your positions in the Division. To begin with; Labor Unit 1, Forward: Officer Judy Hopps."

Judy resisted the urge to do a fist-pump. 'Forward' was the name for a Zeeplabor pilot.

"Unit 1, Backup: Officer Nicholas Wilde."

Zeeplabor Backups drove the armored 'Command Cars' that accompanied each unit, providing information to the Forward and covering their blind spots. Judy looked over to Wilde, who glanced at her briefly before returning to studying the ceiling.

Judy raised an eyebrow. Her parents had always told her to be careful of foxes. Now she was going to _work_ with one. _Watch it, Judy. You're making assumptions already. Like you told Mom and Dad, Gideon Grey wasn't a jerk fox; he was a jerk that happened to be a fox. Besides, Wilde's a cop. He wouldn't be wearing that badge if he didn't want to help mammals, right?_

Still, fox or not, something about Wilde made Judy uneasy…

"Unit 1, Carrier: Officer Benjamin Clawhauser."

The chubby-cheeked cheetah gave a friendly wave down at Judy and Wilde. Judy smiled and nodded back. Clawhauser she could deal with, from what little she'd seen of him.

"Labor Unit 2: Officer Howard Hylander."

"Sir!" barked the hyrax, saluting.

Judy wasn't sure what to make of Hylander to be honest. Something about his exuberance unnerved her.

Bogo finished by looking down at Beaverbrook. "Now, Officer Earl Beaverbrook, originally you were to be Unit 2's carrier driver, but until our seventh member gets here, you'll act as its Backup as well, but I may step in if necessary."

"Y-yes, sir…" murmured Beaverbrook.

Judy didn't envy the beaver, having to pull double-duty.

"Now that that's settled, any questions?" said Bogo, lowering his papers.

Hylander raised his hand. "Uh, sir? What are we supposed to do until the new Labors arrive?"

Bogo took off his glasses, and pointed them at the wall beside the door. "Well, why don't you sit at your desk and we'll discuss it?"

Hylander and the others glanced at the wall. "Captain, there's no desk there."

"Exactly."

* * *

After much toting of heavy furniture boxes and much kvetching about ITREEA instructions, the newly assembled officers of SV2 Division 2 had put equipped their new Ready Room with desks, a microwave, a fridge, and an antiquated TV set.

The desks had adjustable heights, so obviously Clawhauser's would tower above the others', and adjustable or not, they were obviously sized for large animals, so other than Clawhauser, the officers would have more desk space than they'd ever need.

However, the kitchenette was big-cat-scaled. Only Clawhauser could reach the fridge handle or the counter. Beaverbrook soon found a solution to the fridge problem by tying a rope to the handle.

The counter was another problem. Beaverbrook suggested a rope ladder, but Wilde pointed out that it'd be useless when carrying food in both hands.

This time, Clawhauser had a brain wave. He took a filing cabinet and put it beside the counter. Then, he moved Wilde's desk beside the filing cabinet, put Judy's slightly shorter desk next to Wilde's, then put two big-cat-sized plastic storage boxes in front of Judy's desk – one on top of the other – followed by a third in front of the first two, and a fourth on Wilde's desk next to the filing cabinet

"Ta-da!" the cheetah proclaimed after duct-taping the boxes in place. "Instant staircase!"

Sure enough, it was now possible for someone to progress from plastic boxes to Judy's desk to Wilde's desk to filing cabinet to counter while safely carrying objects in both hands. The desks' immense surface area meant that both Judy and Wilde had ample space left over for their co-workers to walk over their desks.

"So… _now_ what are we going to do?" asked Beaverbrook.

* * *

"This work… is not fit… for a policemammal!" grunted Hylander as he used his scythe to hack through the thick weeds surrounding the SV2 building. "If I wanted agricultural work, I'd have gone to the Burrows!" Hylander turned to Judy. "No offense."

Judy just focused on her own section of weeds. Weeding felt more palatable than toting and assembling furniture, but she sympathized with Hylander.

So Judy found herself taking her aggressions on the weeds, using her scythe to hack through weeds closer and closer to the sea, until she arrived at the concrete seawall that separated the field from Big Bayou Bay.

The view of the Bay was great, but more concerning to Judy was the sight of Nick Wilde reclining in a collapsible lawn chair, a pair of Wayfarer sunglasses on his face and a fishing pole dangling over the seawall.

_[[OST1]](https://youtu.be/KOjhQ7zfd1o) _

"What are you doing?!" Judy demanded, her foot beginning to stamp.

Wilde just smirked. "What's it look like I'm doing?"

"You're supposed to be helping us weed," growled Judy.

"Well, I _am_ helping," said Nick. "Captain Bogo said to 'keep busy doing something or other that benefits the unit.' You prey mammals are set, what with the mechanics' garden, but the nearest grocery store's a fifty-minute roundtrip away, and there is _no_ way that henhouse the mechanics built can supply enough protein and vitamins for all the predators here."

"So you're just wasting time fishing 'for the good of the unit'?!" Judy's foot-stamping grew more rapid.

"Pretty much," said Nick, smirk growing more repugnant. "Not _my_ fault the fish aren't biting, Carrots."

"You'll want to refrain from calling me 'Carrots'," Judy seethed.

"My bad," said Nick. "Just assumed you came from some carrot-choke podunk."

"I'm from Bunnyburrow," said Judy, puffing out her chest. "Podunk's in Deerebrook County."

"Ah, my mistake," said Nick, not an ounce of understanding in his voice. "Still, can't hold any of this against me, _Carrots_."

"We'll see what Captain Bogo has to say about that!" huffed Judy, turning back towards the building.

Judy's ears then perked at the sound of whizzing, followed by a cry of alarm and a splash.

When she turned around, Judy saw that the lawn chair was on its side and Wilde was nowhere to be found. Dashing to the edge of the seawall, Judy found the fox in the water, wayfarers missing, staring in complete befuddlement at the enormous fish in his arms.

As Wilde clambered up the riprap, fish writhing in his arms Judy couldn't help but imitate his smirk. "Actually, I may have been wrong about you," she quipped. "It's nice to see you _take a dive_ for the team."

Wilde just furrowed his brow and sauntered back into the weeds.

Judy glanced at his drenched tail. "Nice bass, by the way!"

* * *

Anna Polecatsky wasn't usually one for _schadenfreude_ , but she couldn't resist a chuckle when she looked out her office window and saw Nick Wilde sauntering towards the building with a sulky look in his eye and an oversized sea bass in his arms.

"Your crew are certainly keeping busy," she turned to Captain Bogo, sitting in the desk facing hers.

"Hmmm…" Bogo didn't look up from the promotional pamphlet singing the virtues of the AV-98.

"Okay, what is it, Adrian?" Polecatsky had to be one of the few mammals Captain Bogo respected enough to let her use his first name.

"I said from the start this was making me nervous," Bogo growled, setting the pamphlet down. "First Swinton moves me out here so fast I barely get time to clean out my desk, then I'm told my Division's effectively going to be bunch of test canaries for Inaba, then I get charged with some of the greenest recruits to come out of the Academy."

Polecatsky shrugged. "In fairness, we were pretty green ourselves when we first started out. Remember, there weren't _any_ Zeeplabors before I got sent out here. We were pretty much writing the books as we went. And that wasn't that long ago either. With the reorg giving us a whole new Division, it's not surprising you get rookies."

"It's not just experience I'm worried about," said Bogo, staring at the ceiling. "Beaverbrook's a nervous wreck, Hopps and Hylander are arrogant, and Wilde's a slacker. I'm only hoping our sixth member evens things out."

Polecatsky propped her elbows on her desk, careful to avoid falling off the cushion situated atop her wolf-scaled swivel chair. "No mention of Clawhauser?"

"I was actually meaning to ask you what _your_ take on him was," said Bogo, pushing the pamphlet aside. "He did used to work under you."

The spotted skunk grinned. "It's funny you should ask that, because I actually recommended he be transferred to your Division."

Bogo sat up and stared at Polecatsky. "Why?"

"Bureau Chief Buckminster told me he was going to edge out Clawhauser so he could put Spike McTachy in my Division," said Polecatsky. "I'd heard rumors that your mammals would be selected 'irrespective of personal problems,' so I recommended to Buckminster that he send you Clawhauser to fill out the numbers."

"'Personal problems' is right…" snorted Bogo. "But why send Clawhauser my way?"

"Well, Buckminster may not realize it," said Polecatsky, reaching around to stroke her long-haired tail. "But I think Clawhauser's at least part of the reason why there aren't any 'personal problems' in Division 1…"

* * *

"That little fox caught this?" said Joanna Namakoro, one of SV2's resident mechanics, gazing at the impressive filleted fish on the folding table in front of her.

"More like _it_ caught _him_ ," said Judy, in between bites of corn-on-the-cob.

Lunch breaks at SV2 were crowded affairs thanks to all the mechanics having to eat, so long folding tables packed with food seemed to sprout out of nowhere before lunch break began and vanish once it was over. Anyone who didn't know any better would think that the suddenness of the lunch break's beginning and end was an act of prestidigitation by the mechanics who volunteered to move the tables in and out.

Joanna took a bite of the fish, savoring it a bit before gulping it down her muzzle. "Us mechanics have been saving up to buy a boat to go out fishing. Maybe we should take 'im with us?"

"You thinking of using him as bait?" chuckled Judy.

Judy and Joanna had been getting along well since Judy had come to ask her about the Ingrowls. The burly spotted hyena hadn't known much about its functions, but she'd gushed for hours about leaked information about the Labor's OS. Judy hadn't understood half of it, but she had to admit, it made her all the more eager to pilot the machine herself.

"Never thought I'd see a fox in uniform," said Joanna, looking at the end of the long table, where Wilde was nonchalantly eating a sandwich by himself. "Then again, I could say the same about bunnies. Hell, my Mom says she'd never have imagined that I'd be working with the police when she was my age – even as a mechanic."

"Hyenas have that bad a reputation?" said Judy. "It's just that I never saw any in Bunnyburrow, so I wouldn't know much about them."

"Eh," Joanna ran her hand through her long mane. "Lots of other preds say us yeens are nothin' but lowdown scavengers. 'Course, most preds are technically scavenging just by eating Bugaburga, and it's not like other mammals didn't do it back in the day."

"Oh…" Judy stared at her now-stripped cob.

"Anyway, I can sympathize with the fox," said Joanna. "And our chief's species gets a lot of flak too, but she does her job and she does it well."

"Swinton?" said Judy.

"Not Swinton." Joanna talked in a hushed voice as she gestured upward. " _Her_."

Judy stared upward and saw an aged bat hanging upside-down from the building's rafters. A pair of dark aviators' sunglasses covered her eyes. Judy had seen the bat twice before, always hanging from the same beam. Judy wondered if the bat was somehow sleeping up there despite the hive of activity underneath her.

"Who is she?" said Judy.

"Lucy Camazotz, our Chief Mechanic," said Joanna.

" _She_ 's the Chief Mechanic?!" said Judy. "How can she sleep on the job?!"

"That's just it," whispered Joanna. "You never know if she's sleeping or not! Us mechanics pretty much play it safe and pretend she's awake. If you're smart, you'll do the same!"

Judy glanced at the bat again before turning back to Joanna. "You're not scared of her, are you?"

"Me? Scared of the Chief?! Only down to my toes!"

* * *

The next day passed uneventfully, save more menial tasks for Division 2. Judy bitterly noted the many ways 'Slick Nick' Wilde had managed to dodge work. But Judy's attention was more on the Ingrowls and wondering when they'd actually arrive.

Then, near the evening, as rain clouds began to roll in from Zootopia Sound, Beaverbrook ambled into the Ready Room, panting.

"Th-they're here!"

Beaverbrook then had to dodge the grey-furred bullet that sped out through the door.

When Judy got to the hangar, the three machines were laid out in their carrier trucks, but Judy could see into the carriers' payload bays from the short balcony that extended from the office section into the hangar.

Unlike most police Labors before it, the AV-98 Ingrowl had a different chassis from industrial Labors. This allowed it to have a thinner, lither form. But even so, its torso was compact and its thighs were thin, and its calves flared out to help lower the machine's centre of gravity. A set of 'bull bars' jutted out over its chest for extra cockpit protection. Lightbars atop the machines' shoulders signified their status as emergency vehicles.

The machines were all painted black on the chests and shoulders, but the heads were white. The forearms and legs, and the shields mounted on each machine's left arm were white with black 'zebra-stripes'.

A green-tinted Plexiglas visor and a mouthplate with a generic muzzle covered the face, an ear-like fin jutting from the head's left-hand side, a set of antennae from the right.

Police badges were painted on the Ingrowls' right shoulders. On the left shoulders were numbers; 221, 222, and 223. These numbers signified that they were ZPD Special Vehicles _Second_ Section, Division _2_ , Labor Units 1, 2, and 3. In addition to the numbers, each unit could be identified by their different head shapes. Compared to Unit 1, Unit 2 had a much larger visor that made the head look like a cross between a football player's helmet and a motorcycle helmet. Unit 3's visor in contrast, was much slimmer, with a bulbous forehead that contained Unit 3's exclusive Electronic Counter-Measures (ECM) Pod for anti-electronic warfare.

Judy heard footsteps, turned around, and saw Joanna walking up to her, reverently taking off her white mechanic's cap and holding it to her chest.

"Figured you'd be here," the hyena chuckled. "I've been lookin' over the OS. God, if I could _marry_ that string of ones and zeroes, I would!"

Judy smiled and stared at Unit 1 – soon to be her machine.

Joanna gave Judy a toothy grin before joining her in eyeing Unit 1. "Eager to take 'em for a spin?"

"Frith yeah…" Judy muttered.

Just then, alarm bells began to ring all throughout the building.

 _"Now hear this! Now hear this!"_ came a voice over the PA system. _"We have reports of a rogue Labor in Savanna Central. Division 2 is to scramble immediately."_

Joanna's jaw dropped as she turned back to Judy. "Someone up there must either like ya, or hate your _guts_!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **BACKGROUND MUSIC**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> 1) Toshihiko Sahashi – "Procrastination" – from _The Big O_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **CHARACTER NAME EXPLANATIONS**
> 
>  
> 
> Spike McTachy \- Short-Beaked Echidna ( _Tachyglossus aculeatus_ ) - His genus name should give you some idea why I named him that.
> 
> Joanna Namakoro \- Spotted hyena ( _Crocuta crocuta_ ) - "Namakoro" is the Malinke word for her species.
> 
> Lucy Camazotz \- Spectral bat ( _Vampyrum spectrum_ ) - Camazotz is a bat god from Mayan mythology. Plus, I thought it'd be humorous to name a bat "Lucy" (a name that means 'light')


	3. Fifty-One-Fifty - Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! This fic is more popular than I thought it'd be! Thanks you guys!

"Marvelous – bloody marvelous," growled Captain Bogo.

His Division hadn't even gotten a good look at their new machines, and _naturally_ this Crabmammal had gone on a rampage when Division 1 was out on another call.

In one hoof, Bogo bundled up the lanyards he'd just received and made for the hangar, where mechanics of many species were dashing around in a panic.

"Lucy!" Bogo called up to the rafters. "These things operable?"

From the rafters, Lucy Camazotz fluttered down, perching herself atop the cab of one of the labor-carriers in front of Bogo. "Theoretically, yes," she growled. "At least according to Joanna. _Joanna!_ "

"Yes'm!" Joanna Namakoro seemed to come out of nowhere, standing to attention in front of her superior.

"You say we can field these beasts?" said Camazotz, a hard look oozing from beneath her sunglasses.

"Uh, yeah," Joanna gestured to the lanyards in Captain Bogo's hoof. "Those key drives should hold enough data to stand up on their own two paws, but well… they'd be like babies, really."

"Babies?" said Bogo.

"Well, yeah," said Joanna. "The Ingrowl's OS is meant to emulate an actual mammal's moves. The more use it gets, the more data it acquires. It's basically like the pilot's teaching them how to move."

"Just give me a straight answer," growled Bogo, wheeling on the hyena. "Can I send them out there? Could they feasibly take down a rogue Labor? Like a Crabmammal?"

"Well, the starting data's based off of older Zeeplabor data, so theoretically…" Joanna gave an awkward, toothy grin. "…yes?"

"Good enough for me," huffed Bogo, who then turned to where his Division was lined up against the side of Unit 2's Labor-Carrier.

Hopps and Hylander already had their crash helmets tucked under their arms. Beaverbrook was donning a navy blue ZPD baseball cap. Wilde held a similar cap in his hand.

"Alright, you lot," said Bogo. "I won't mince words. This is _not_ ideal."

Beaverbrook and Clawhauser shivered. Hopps was shivering as well, but in excitement.

"But the fact is, we've got our Labors," Bogo nodded up to Unit 2 laying down in its carrier. "…and we're the only ones here. You all know your assignments?"

Division 2 nodded, with varying degrees of enthusiasm and anxiety.

"Very well." Bogo raised the bundle of lanyards, tossing one each to Hopps, Hylander, Wilde, and Beaverbrook. "These lanyards hold the key drives for your Labors. Forwards and Backups will wear one for their respective units at all times. A third drive for each unit will be kept here at the station. At the end of each deployment, you'll hand these back to the mechanics so they can back your data up. They're essentially the brains of your machines so _don't lose them_. Any questions?"

Beaverbrook raised a quivering paw. "Wh-what will I do, sir?"

"You'll help me initialize Unit 2's command car," said Bogo. "But you'll be driving the carrier there while I take the command car. We'll swap again at the scene." Bogo tensed as he imagined trying to fit his massive frame in the comparatively tiny armored command car that accompanied each Ingrowl. "Any more questions?"

No response.

"Then there's no point in delaying this any further," continued Bogo. "Hopps, Hylander, get into your Labors and begin initializing them. Wilde, Beaverbrook, do the same for your command cars. We've no time to lose. _Go!_ "

* * *

Judy and Hylander promptly donned their crash helmets and made for their respective units' carriers, clambering atop them and into the Ingrowls' cockpits.

No sooner had Judy opened Unit 1's cockpit up than she took in a whiff of its 'new car smell.' She had to resist giggling like a schoolgirl as she took the plastic wrapping off of her new pilots' seat.

This done, Judy took the her lanyard off, took the key drive – the colloquialism for the USB sticks that contained a Labor's movement data – and plugged it into a socket in the console in front of her before booting up the Ingrowl's internal computer systems.

On the lower front screen, Judy was soon greeted with the initials "I.H.I." with bunny ears sprouting from the _H_. Underneath this logo were the words "INABA HEAVY INDUSTRIES," with a loading bar underneath.

As the system finished booting, the screens to either side of Judy flickered on to show the interior of the carrier's payload bay, with the main screen in front of her showing the hangar ceiling.

 _"You booted up already?"_ Wilde's voice rang through her comms system.

"I can hear you, so I _guess_!" huffed Judy.

 _"Well, hurry up and initialize that thing,"_ grumbled Wilde. _"Beaverbrook's done already!"_

"What?!"

* * *

After much bickering and panicking (how the hell had Beaverbrook finished so fast anyway?!), Judy was seated in the cab of Unit 1's carrier next to Clawhauser as Division 2 finally made its way out of the converted warehouse. Wilde's car had pulled out in front of them, with Unit 2's carrier and command car out in front of the impromptu convoy (somehow Bogo had managed to fit his massive frame into the command car).

The massive carrier's cab was built for larger mammals, so the only thing Judy could see was the closed door of the glove compartment in front of her. It was a rainy night, so the sound of windshield wipers punctuated the hum of the truck's engine.

"You sure you're gonna be okay out there?" said Clawhauser, glancing down at his passenger.

"I'll be fine," said Judy. "I've been waiting this day my whole life."

"You wanted to be a Zeeplabor pilot?" said Clawhauser.

"Not originally," said Judy. "I wanted to be a police officer _period_ , but they wouldn't take me. Then someone suggested I get a Labor license and some experience first, so I did that, reapplied to the Academy, and sure enough, I got in!"

 _"So what are we up against, Captain?"_ said Hylander through the carrier's radio.

 _"An Inaba Crabmammal,"_ said Bogo.

 _"Yikes… Heavyweight division,"_ said Wilde.

 _"Pilot's been ranting about how the Sanitation Department forced him into early retirement without his pension,"_ continued Bogo. _"He stole the Crabmammal from a construction site and is threatening to wreck the city unless Mayor Lionheart personally gives him his pension back. Only thing is, he's already trashed three city blocks and he says he's been holding back."_

 _"So, you're saying he's nuts, Cap'n?"_ said Wilde.

 _"The technical term is fifty-one-fifty, Wilde,"_ said Bogo. _"Anyway, here's the plan; barricades are already being set up to encourage the suspect to go down Zambezi Street. Unit 2 will deck-up at Zambezi and Acacia Way to intercept them. This done, Unit 1 will deck-up behind him at Zambezi and Kalahari Road to cut off his escape route. Then Hopps and Hylander will try to encourage him into Zambezi Street Park. It's already been evacuated."_

No surprise there, Judy thought. The Police Academy's special course for Zeeplabor pilots advised cadets to coax conflicts away from populated areas and into wide-open spaces like parks, golf courses, or even graveyards.

Eventually, the two carriers and their respective command cars split, taking different routes to their intended deck-up points.

However, a new report came in from Dispatch. _"Dispatch to Division 2. Suspect has broken through a barricade and turned east onto Okavango Road. He's just passed Baobab Street and is proceeding eastward."_

"Aw, nuts!" moaned Clawhauser.

 _"New plan,"_ barked Captain Bogo. _"Unit 2, intercept at Okavango Road and Tarangire Avenue. Unit 1, deck-up at Okavango and Empire Avenue and back us up."_

 _"Well, this just keeps getting better,"_ grumbled Wilde.

* * *

_[[OST1]](https://youtu.be/ac37AMRtBq0) _

Eventually, Unit 1's carrier and command car made it to the corner of Okavango Road and Empire Avenue. The street was still being evacuated, with uniformed ZPD officers milling about, shooing away rubberneckers.

As Judy leapt out of the carrier's cab into the rain-soaked street, she heard a rhinoceros officer mutter something to his wolf colleague.

"I swear, someone up there's playin' a joke on us," the rhino grumbled, gesturing to Judy and the carrier with the Labor inside. "Making something that small the only thing that can drive something that big!"

Judy just chuckled to herself as she climbed up the ladder at the side of the trailer, and hoisted herself into Unit 1's cockpit. Once in, she donned her crash helmet, inserted her key drive into its socket, and booted up the OS.

Inside the cab, Clawhauser pulled a lever, causing legs to extend out of the giant truck to stabilize it.

"Okay, I'm buckled in and booted up," said Judy through her radio.

"Alright," said Clawhauser, taking in a deep breath as he pulled another lever. "Let's be careful out there."

A set of hydraulics soon extended from the carrier's back, pushing its payload bay upward and back like the skip of a dump truck until it reached a 90-degree angle, revealing the Ingrowl inside to the stunned crowd.

Once the deck-up procedure was complete, the clamps holding Unit 1 in place were released, and the machine took its first steps into action.

* * *

_[[OST2]](https://youtu.be/jk0rtdsKUTA) _

The TFV-97 Crabmammal speeding down Okavango Road was a bulky, olive-colored machine with a cylindrical body atop four insect-like legs. Each leg featured retractable wheels, enabling it to either drive (as it was now) or walk.

"You seein' this, Lionheart?!" the elderly raccoon inside yelled. "Shoulda just given me my pension!"

The Crabmammal then raised one of its legs before bringing it down on the roof of a parked car, flattening it. "See that?! How 'bout this?!" The stolen Labor then moved to the other side of the street, where it kicked up one of its legs to smash in a shop window.

Soon, it turned around to regard the lither form of Unit 2 approaching it.

"This is the ZPD!" said Hylander through his Ingrowl's own speakers. "Power down your Labor and come out with your hands up!"

"See?! Lookit that!" snarled the raccoon. "That's a new model! That's my pension money right there! Goes to show ya the city cares more about Labors than actual mammals!"

"Much as I'd love to talk politics…" said Hylander, putting Unit 2 into a fighting stance. "…you've destroyed public and private property, and you're guilty of Labor theft, too!"

"Destruction of property?!" said the raccoon, as the Crabmammal flipped another car onto its back. "I'm holdin' back!"

"Strange individual, aren't we?" muttered Hylander, as his machine withdrew a collapsible rod from under its shield. This was an electromagnetic baton, or 'stun stick.' The stun stick was designed to be thrust into a Labor's sensitive areas, like its computer banks or batteries, and deliver a disabling short-range electromagnetic pulse.

"Ya wanna go then?!" roared the raccoon, sending his machine full throttle towards Unit 2.

Hylander hadn't expected an early charge, so he gave up on delivering a killing blow to dodge the renegade Labor, leaping out of the way and sending the back of his machine into the wall of a department store. The Crabmammal, whose pilot hadn't expected such a speedy dodge, skittered into the side of a building on the other side of the street.

A safe distance away, behind his command car, Captain Bogo groaned. The city was going to have his tail for this… Beside him, Beaverbrook began gnawing on another popsicle stick.

Hylander tried to get his Ingrowl to stand up, but the Crabmammal had recovered faster, pulling itself free of the building and motoring over to Unit 2. Before Hylander could react, the enemy Labor began pounding its leg into his machine's back again and again, forcing him to drop his stun stick.

The raccoon laughed as he made the Crabmammal kick the prostrate Unit 2 into a storefront, causing the façade of the building to collapse down on top of it. With its visible interior, the building now resembled a dollhouse. "Y'see that, Lionheart?! My pension woulda been a better investment!"

"Fifty-one-fifty…" Bogo groaned.

The Crabmammal let up on its punishment of Unit 2 as Unit 1 pulled up a short distance away, drawing its own stun-stick.

"Give it up!" Judy's voice came through the Ingrowl's loudspeakers. "You're not getting away with this!"

"No! Not until I get my pension back!" The Crabmammal sent its leg into the second floor of the building next to Unit 2, causing more rubble to fall on top of it.

"Ta think I was cleanin' up messes like this for half my life!" said the raccoon. "Now you tell Mayor Lyin'-heart that if he don't give me my pension _right this second_ , I'm gonna be _makin'_ messes instead!"

"Hey, hey hey!" Suddenly Unit 1's command car came rocketing out beside Judy's machine, stopping between it and the Crabmammal before Nick Wilde poked his head out of the hatch, clutching the receiver for his vehicle's loudspeakers. "Let's not get hasty, gramps. Is it _really_ worth getting this steamed over?"

"Wilde, what in blazes do you think you're doing?!" Bogo roared into his car's receiver.

"I'm an old codger!" yelled the raccoon. "I probably ain't got much longer anyway!"

"Come on," said Wilde. "I mean, you got any family?"

"No!"

"I mean, you say you've been keeping the city clean half your life, right?" Wilde continued, propping his head on his elbow. "Are you _really_ gonna tear all that work down? I mean, look at this! Look at it!" The fox gestured to the crumbled department store façade. "Who's gonna clean this up?"

"Not me! They pushed me out, remember?!" said the raccoon. "Besides, I hated workin' sanitation! It was the only job a 'coon like me could get back then! They said garbage n' theiverin' was all we were good for!"

"Ouch…" muttered Wilde, unaware that his loudspeakers were still on.

Judy winced as she remembered how some species stereotypes had been informally enforced in Zootopia. Still, she had no idea mammals like this raccoon were still around.

"I waited _so fuzzin' long_ for my retirement!" growled the raccoon. "Now they tell me I ain't getting' nothin' for all the work I did cleanin' other mammals' messes?!"

[[OST3]](https://youtu.be/AyxNMXc5QqM)

The Crabmammal advanced on Wilde's command car, raising a leg as if to crush it. Wilde quickly ducked back into the car and reversed it before the leg could come down on top of him.

Judy then rushed the rampaging Labor, but the raccoon was too fast, giving Unit 1 a kick that sent the Ingrowl on its back, causing it to drop its stun stick. The Crabmammal then raised a leg, ready to smash it into Unit 1 like it had with Unit 2. This time however, Judy was fast enough to grab the leg, and swing the Crabmammal into the building nearby.

"Hopps!" growled Bogo, rubbing his hoof against his head. Buckminster and the city were going to roast them _all_ on a spit!

"Carrots!" groaned Wilde. "We're trying to stop this guy from wrecking the city, not save him the trouble!"

Judy clenched her buckteeth. "Just let me do my job, okay?!"

Both the Ingrowl and the Crabmammal recovered quickly, the latter charging the former with its leg-wheels lowered. This time, Judy bent Unit 1 over, planting its feet into the ground as she held out her machine's hands to grab the Crabmammal as it slammed into her, lifting its front legs off the ground. This put more weight on the Crabmammals rear wheels, which smoked and squealed as they began to burn rubber.

"Come on, come _on_ …!" Judy growled, as though she were physically holding back the ten-tonne rogue Labor herself. "Just _break_ already!"

"Give it up, Carrots!" said Wilde through Unit 1's comms systems. "The Crabmammal's a heavyweight; you can't beat it in a shoving match!"

"Don't…!" Judy planted Unit 1's right foot deeper into the ground, causing the asphalt underneath it to crack.

"…call…!" The Ingrowl's grip on the Crabmammal's front legs tightened.

"…me…!" Unit 1 raised its left leg, slamming its knee into the belly of the Crabmammal, very briefly lifting its right hind leg off the ground.

"…CARROTS!" Unit 1 twisted around and released its hold on the Crabmammal, sending it skittering across the street and into the building on the other side of the road.

"Yikes…" muttered Wilde, grimacing.

Bogo just slammed his head into the roof of his command car. Now the buffalo was worrying about _his_ pension.

The Crabmamal got back to its feet, but now thick smoke was emanating from its hind legs, indicating it had pushed its motors too hard. The two Labors began to circle one another, as if sizing each other up.

"Well, you've got guts if nothing else!" grumbled the raccoon.

"Oh, I've got _plenty_ else!" said Judy, pushing a pedal in her cockpit, causing a compartment on Unit 1's calf to open up, revealing an Ingrowl-sized handgun.

Wilde's ears slid back. "Oh no…"

"Unit 1," Bogo said into his receiver. "Permission granted to use the revolver cannon."

"What?!" Wilde sputtered into his own receiver. "At this range?! She could hit the pilot – or wreck the place even more!"

"This situation's getting out of hand. We need to end this quickly," said Bogo. "And we're not getting anywhere at close-quarters. Unit 1, fire at will."

"Copy that!" said Judy, as a metal visor slid over its green Plexiglas visor. Its hand then extended on an armature, grasped the handgun, then extended back.

"Hey, what gives?!" Panic entered the old raccoon's voice. "You can't shoot that here!"

_[[OST4]](https://youtu.be/wO3rYWGHYFY) _

"Wanna bet?!" snarled Judy, raising the gun in Unit 1's hands and pointing it directly at the Crabmammal.

A silence fell over Okavango Road, punctuated only by the sound of falling rain.

The two Labors just stood facing one another, both poised for action.

In Unit 1's carrier's cab, Clawhauser began praying softly, not knowing he was religious until just then.

By Unit 2's command car, Beaverbrook accidentally swallowed a fifth of a popsicle stick.

Beside him, Bogo muttered something into his receiver.

In Unit 1's command car, Wilde's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates as his teeth clenched.

In the Crabmammal's cockpit, the raccoon panted heavily as his paws tightened on the controls.

In Unit 1's cockpit, Judy's gritted her teeth as she locked on target.

The Crabmammal raised a leg…

Judy's finger tensed on the 'FIRE' button…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No species/names to explain here, but I got a bit creative with street names in this chapter. Zambezi Street is a reference to the Zambezi River. Kalahari Road refers to the Kalahari Desert. Okavango Road refers to the Okavango inland delta. Tarangire Avenue refers to the Tarangire River.
> 
>  
> 
>   **BACKGROUND MUSIC:**
> 
>  
> 
> 1) Micheal Giacchino – "Ticket to Write" – from _Zootopia_
> 
> 2) Kenji Kawai – "UPROAR" – from _Mobile Suit Gundam 00_
> 
> 3) Kenji Kawai – "Inrush" – from _Patlabor: The Movie_
> 
> 4) Kenji Kawai – "Showdown" – from _Patlabor: The Mobile Police_ TV series


	4. Fifty-One-Fifty - Part IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Division 2's first deployment has come to an end, but it doesn't feel like much of a victory.

**_CRASH!_ **

The Crabmammal slumped to the ground as smoke began to erupt from its abdomen, legs splayed out in all directions as Unit 2 drove its stun stick deeper into the rogue Labor’s hindquarters.

In one swift motion, the sludge-covered Ingrowl had shaken the debris off of it and lunged at the Crabmammal. Now it placed its hand on the top of the machine’s body, forcing it down to the ground.

Wilde sighed, slumping into the seat of his command car. “Dammit, Captain…”

“Good work, Hylander,” said Bogo into his receiver, as Beaverbrook fainted beside him.

“Thank you sir,” panted Hylander. “I guess there’s a stereotype in the making about us hyraxes playing possum.”

The raccoon pilot clambered out of his totaled machine’s cockpit, and began jumping up and down, cussing at Unit 2 until a tiger and a bison in ZPD uniforms climbed onto the wrecked Crabmammal and cuffed him.

Inside Unit 1, Judy also slumped back in relief, a bit miffed that Hylander had gotten the ‘kill’, but still, that had been the most terrifying experience of her life!

And yet…

It had been amazing! Thrilling! It had been…

* * *

“…Destruction of property, insubordination, and just plain stupid, reckless behavior!” snarled Captain Bogo, pacing up and down the line of assembled Division 2 Officers in the Captain’s office at the warehouse. “Bureau Chief Buckminster’s having a fit, Okavango Road’s property values are going to be down for the foreseeable future, and hashtag-‘PsychoLabors’ is now trending on Chitter! If it weren’t for the fact that we now _technically_ have a 100% incident resolution rate, this Division’s career would be over before it began!”

Clawhauser gulped. Beaverbrook shivered. Hylander was stone-still.

Wilde snorted, with a glare at Judy. “It probably would’ve been worse if you’d let Dirty Hare-y here get off a shot.”

Judy returned the glare.

“I knew that, Wilde,” said Bogo. “And I also knew that would not be a problem.”

“Why not?”

“When our Labors arrived, it was believed we would have the chance to test our weapons out properly to get a feel for them before any actual deployments,” said Bogo. “Which is why your guns tonight were loaded with blanks.”

“What?!”

“And a good thing, too!” snapped Bogo. “This isn’t _Panda-Z_ or _Dangatoh_ or whatever brain-dead giant robot cartoon they’re showing these days where you can tread all over the city without a care in the world for collateral damage!”

“You’ll have to clarify, sir. I haven’t seen either of-“

“ _Shut your tiny mouth now, Hopps!_ ” barked Bogo. “The point is, whenever you so much as take a step in one of those things, you could potentially put mammals’ lives at risk. In a city this big, there are many such mammals, and in a city this literate, there’s a good chance those mammals have lawyers.

“This entire Section,” Bogo raised his arm. “Has been criticized to hell and back as a waste of taxpayers’ money; you heard what that raccoon was saying! We needed a first impression like _this_ …” Bogo pointed to his phone, which featured social media going agog about #PsychoLabors. “…like we needed a hole in the head!”

Bogo walked over to the window, taking in the view across Big Bayou Bay. “I expect a full report of this disaster from each of you on my desk by 0930 tomorrow, as well as the _understanding_ …” Bogo threw a sneer over his shoulder at his subordinates. “…that this sort of thing _won’t_ happen again. _Is that clear?!_ ”

“Yes, sir…” everyone droned.

“Dismissed,” Bogo huffed.

One by one, the mammals of Division 2 filed out of the Captain’s office. Clawhauser was last. As he passed out the door, he found himself face to face with a great, erupting plume of long, black-and-white fur. Instinctively, the cheetah flattened himself against the door frame as he edged his way out.

Bogo groaned as he sat back in his chair before noting the plume of fur make its way into the office.

“I’m guessing I’m not the only one that had a rough night?” he remarked to the plume, which came down as the gaunt torso of Captain Anna Polecatsky came up. Bogo respected the skunk as a cop, but he didn’t think he’d ever get used to her bizarre habit of doing handstands when frustrated or annoyed.

“At least your Division had something to do,” huffed Polecatsky as she hoisted herself into her chair. “We were dealing with a DWI in an Ushii Bullfrog. By the time we got there, the drunk had gotten himself stuck in a canal. Most of our ‘deployment was essentially pulling the Bullfrog out of the water so the idiot didn’t drown!”

Bogo snorted. “At least your team isn’t a social media sensation.”

Polcatsky sighed. “We were too, at first. Your mammals are young. They’ll get over it.”

Bogo swiveled his chair, staring out the window again. “One can hope…”

* * *

_[[OST1]](https://youtu.be/gXiChFHXd-0) _

“Dirty Hare-y?!” snapped Judy Hopps, as she followed Nick Wilde on the way to the bus stop.

“Tell me, what part of pulling a 37-millimeter handgun in a densely packed neighborhood couldn’t be called reckless?” said Wilde, that obnoxious, half-lidded smirk etched across his face.

“Really now?!” huffed Judy. “How about putting your command car in front of a ten-ton Labor driven by a crazy raccoon?!”

Wilde rolled his eyes. “Well, _excuse me_ , Carrots, for trying to deescalate the situation from becoming exactly what Captain Buffalo-butt wanted to avoid.”

“You’re gonna want to refrain from calling me ‘Carrots,’ ‘Slick Nick,’” Judy seethed.

“Alright, tell me if this sounds familiar,” said Wilde, throwing a glance at Judy over his shoulder. “Naïve little hick with good grades and big ideas decides ‘hey look at me, I’m gonna drive a Labor in _Zootopia_ where predators and prey live in harmony and sing ‘Kumbaya’,’ only to find…”

Wilde turned around and began walking backwards so he could face Judy. “ _Whoopsie!_ We _don’t_ all get along. And that dream of becoming a bigshot Labor cop? _Double whoopsie!_ ” Wilde turned back around. “She’s stuck in a scapegoat Division with a bunch of other misfits, and _– whoopsie number threesie_ – all she’s good for is breaking things.”

By this point, they were almost at the bus stop.

Wilde went on. “Soon enough, those dreams die – probably when someone _else_ does – and our bunny sinks into emotional and literal squalor and she finds herself living in a box under a bridge, until she has no choice but to go back home with that cute, fuzzy-wuzzy little tail between her legs to become – you’re from Bunnyburrow, right?” Wilde gave Judy a pointed look. “So how ‘bout a carrot farmer? Does that sound right?”

Judy stood there, jaw hanging open, as Wilde continued on his way. Finally, Judy had had enough.

“Hey!” she dashed in front of Nick. “A slacker like you has no right to tell me what I can or can’t be!”

“Okay, let me put it this way,” said Wilde, bending down in what Judy thought had to be _the_ most patronizing way possible. “Everyone comes to Zootopia thinking they can be anything they want – but they can’t. You can only be what you _are_.” He got up, then gestured between himself and Judy. “Sly fox. Dumb bunny.”

“Well, what’s a ‘sly fox’ doing as a cop then?!” Judy growled.

“Little mistake on my part,” said Wilde, clasping his hands behind his head. “Only a matter of time before someone realizes what a mistake it was letting a shifty lowlife like me on the force. Doesn’t mean I can’t help them along though.”

Judy gaped. “You mean to tell me you’re trying to get yourself fired?!”

“Mmm-hmm,” Wilde nodded, still smirking. “So what’s that say about _you_ when you’re doing a worse job than someone who’s _trying_ to do a bad job? Like I said – sly fox, dumb bunny.”

“I am _not_ a dumb bunny,” said Judy, voice white-hot with rage.

“Right,” said Wilde. “And that is _not_ your bus.”

Judy turned around to see the #88 bus pulling away.

“You’ll never be a real cop.”

Judy turned around to see Wilde clambering into a hocked-up old van with a mural on the side showing a pair of foxes in a passionate embrace.

“Keep up the Labor-work though,” Wilde quipped from the passenger-side window as the van passed her. “Maybe I.H.I. could use a new crash-test dummy. Hang in there!”

With that Parthian shot, Judy was left waiting for the next bus.

* * *

“Thanks for coming to pick me up, Finnick,” said Nick, after giving the bunny a sarcastic salute.

“Meh,” grunted the diminutive fennec in the driver’s seat. “Had trouble wit’ the directions. Zoogle Maps still says th’ place belongs to Lanolin Textiles. Could your new gig _be_ any more out of the way?!”

“Don’t get too used to it,” said Nick. “Like I said, I don’t have high expectations for this job.”

“Saw ya on the news earlier,” said Finnick, whose voice was jarringly deep for a mammal his size. “Sounds like they got ya workin’ wit’ some real nutjobs.”

“ _Oh_ yeah…” chuckled Nick. “You see the Labor that pulled a gun?”

“Yeah?”

“That was its pilot we passed just now.”

“Ho-ly fuzz!” Finnick cackled. “And after what you said! You better be careful ‘case she ‘accidentally’ steps on ya with that Labor ‘a hers!”

“Relax,” said Nick. “If all goes well, she won’t have to put up with me for long.”

_[[OST2]](https://youtu.be/rrAiC2F7uD4) _

Finnick was quiet for a bit. “Hey Nick, you ever think y’r actually onto somethin’ here?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” said Nick, languidly staring out the passenger-side window.

“I mean, y’ ever wonder if Esther had the right idea about-“

“I _don’t_ want to talk about it!” Nick glared at the fennec.

Finnick took the cue and shut his muzzle. Nick wasn’t usually the angry type, but bring that vixen into things…!

[LINE]

Not only had Judy gotten an extra late bus home, but microwave dinner had somehow been even more dismal than usual, all the music on the radio was demoralizing, her bickering neighbors were at it again, and now she found that news reports of her scuffle with the Crabmammal had made it all the way to Bunnyburrow.

“Mom, Dad, it’s okay!” Judy urged into her phone’s MuzzleTime app. “The building fell on Unit _2_. I was in Unit _1_. Hylander was in that one, and he’s fine. Those Ingrowls can take a lot of punishment without hurting the pilot.”

 _“I’m sorry, honey!”_ said shorter-eared Bonnie Hopps. “ _We’re just worried about you is all. I mean, what if that Labor hadn’t stopped?”_

“Don’t worry, Mom!” said Judy. “I had the upper hand. I had the gun, remember?” Best not mention that said gun was loaded with blanks. “It was a piece of cake!”

 _“You sure, honey? I mean… What kind of Labor was that?”_ Stu Hopps’ whiskers twitched as he rubbed his chin. _“Not a Pickle. It was newer than that…”_

“A Crabmammal, Dad,” said Judy. “Inaba makes them too. But the Ingrowl’s from Inaba, and it’s newer. It’s real cutting-edge. Those Labor criminals won’t know what hit ‘em!”

Stu laughed, but it was a forced laugh – Judy could tell. _“Okay, Jude-the-Dude. Just… Be careful out there, okay? And take good care of that Labor of yours. It’s the only thing keeping you safe out there!”_

Judy chuckled. “’Take good care of your tools and they take good care of you,’ right, Dad?”

 _“Yep!”_ Stu puffed out his chest. _“Just like me and Charlie!”_

“Well, you needn’t worry about that, Dad,” said Judy. “We’ve got like a billion mechanics out at SV2 to take care of our Labors. They’re trained pros.”

 _“Alright, but all the same, check things over for yourself once in a while,”_ said Stu. _“You’re gonna be the one piloting that thing out there!”_

“Dad, it’s fine,” said Judy. “Unit 1’s got a thick hide, and I’m not alone out there.”

 _“Okay, honey…”_ said Bonnie. _“On that note, what are your co-workers like?”_

“Well, Hylander – the guy in Unit 2 – he’s uh… well-read… and nice…” and full of hot air. Stupid hyrax wouldn’t stop crowing about getting the drop on the Crabmammal after they got back.

 _“Oh yeah, didn’t you say they had someone covering your back?”_ said Stu. _“A backup, was it?”_

“Oh, my backup? Wilde, he’s…”

Arrogant? Apathetic? Callous? Shifty? A fox? Better not mention that last one. “He’s alright.”

 _“Well, he’d better take good care of you,”_ said Bonnie. _“And you’d better listen to him, sweetheart. He’s the one you need to trust in situations like that.”_

Trust Wilde?

Yeah.

Right.

“Don’t worry. I know he’s got my back!”

 _“Well, just take good care of yourself, dear!”_ said Bonnie.

 _“Yeah, we’re rootin’ for ya!”_ said Stu.

Judy smiled. “Thanks, Dad! That means a lot!”

_“Bye, sweetheart!”_

_“Bye sweetie! Take good care out there!”_

“Bye!” Judy ended the chat, then slumped in her chair.

That had been her first deployment. She should be feeling great about it. Why wasn’t she?!

“HEY BUNNY, TURN DOWN THAT DEPRESSING MUSIC!” came the voice of one of her neighbors (was it Bucky or Pronk Oryx-Antlerson?).

Judy hurriedly switched off her radio alarm clock. How had she not noticed that sad piano music it was playing?!

“LEAVE THE BUNNY ALONE? DIDN’T YOU HEAR HER CONVERSATION?! SHE’S DISSAPPOINTED!”

“OH SHUT UP!”

“ _YOU_ SHUT UP!”

“ _YOU_ SHUT UP!”

“ _YOU_ SHUT UP!”

“Tomorrow’s a new day…” Judy muttered to herself.

“YEAH, BUT IT MIGHT BE WORSE!” said an Oryx-Antlerson.

* * *

“Tomorrow’s a new day…” Bogo grumbled as he looked over the beginnings of his report.

“Oh, don’t be like that,” said Polecatsky, typing up her own report. “It might be better!”

* * *

“Tomorrow’s a new day…” Nick stared at the ceiling of Finnick’s van.

“Eh, what can ya do?” said Finnick, passing him a can of beer. “Cheers!”

The two foxes bumped their cans together before taking a sip.

* * *

**THIS IS AN AU, BUT IN TEN YEARS, WHO KNOWS…?**

[[OST-PV]](https://youtu.be/ppx5VEej7BU)

**NEXT TIME ON _ZEEPLABOR_ :**

**Nick:** “Well, here she comes! Division 2’s last member!”

 **Judy:** “Virginia Lee Foxape? Who’s she?”

 **Nick:** “Hang on, she isn’t a fox _or_ an ape! What’s up with that?!”

 **Judy:** “ _What_ is this she’s saying about me and my piloting ability?! It’s perfectly _fine_ , thank you very much!”

 **Nick:** “Well, I’m inclined to agree with her, as is half of Okavango Road!”

 **Judy:** “Why, you…!”

 **Clawhauser:** “Come on, you guys! Captain Bogo doesn’t like it when you fight!”

 **Judy:** “Well, maybe if _someone_ stopped being such a slacker…!”

 **Nick:** “Well, maybe if _someone_ stopped being so smash’y…!”

 **Clawhauser:** “Come _on_ , you guys! Your jobs might be on the line here!”

 **Nick:** “On the next _Zeeplabor_ – ‘ Robin of Foxley’!”

 **Judy:** “ _Target: locked on!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Captain Polecatsky's hand-standing habit is a reference to the fact that spotted skunks are known to do handstands - to get better aim with their scent glands!
> 
>  _Great Pawzinger_ and _Dangatoh_ are references to mecha anime _Great Mazinger_ and _Hyper Combat Unit Dangaioh_. Similarly, _The Warty Frog_ is the Zootopian equivalent of _The Shaggy Dog_.
> 
> As for the Crabmammal, more information is to follow in the next chapter, and on the Ingrowl!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **BACKGROUND MUSIC:**
> 
> 1) Micheal Giacchino - "Walk and Stalk" - from _Zootopia_
> 
> 2) Micheal Giacchino - "Not a Real Cop" - from _Zootopia_
> 
> PV) Kenji Kawai - "Scramble" - From _Patlabor: The Mobile Police_ TV series


	5. Labor Files - AV-98 Ingrowl & TFV-97 Crabmammal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, between 'episodes,' I might give these little info sheets to help readers new to _Patlabor_ through the wide world of Labors.
> 
> In this one, we talk about the two we have seen thus far - the Ingrowl and the Crabmammal.
> 
> Special thanks to mahq.net for their exhaustive information on the original _Patlabor_ mecha! See [Burke's "All the World's Labors"](http://www.mahq.net/mecha/patlabor/bawl.htm) for the full database.

# AV-98 Ingrowl

 **Model Number:** AV-98

 **Code name:** Ingrowl

 **Use:** Law enforcement anti-Labor patrol Labor

 **Manufacturer:** Inaba Heavy Industries

 **Operator:** Zootopia Police Department - Special Vehicles, Second Section, Division 2

 **Height:** 8.02 meters

 **Width:** 4.37 meters

 **Weight:** 6.0 metric tons (6.62 metric tons when fully equipped)

 **Armour:** Fiber-reinforced plastic  & carbon-fibre reinforced material

 **Maximum lifting capacity:** 2.4 metric tons.

**Armaments and equipment:**

Fixed:

  * 37mm revolver cannon stored in a compartment in the right calf (loads 6 rounds, hand-carried), **or** 37mm tranquilizer pellet gun stored in the same place (loads four rounds, hand-carried).
  * Anti-labor stun stick stored under a shield mounted on the left forearm (hand-carried)
  * Head-mounted Electronic Counter-Measures (ECM) pod (Unit 3 only)
  * Winch and cable mounted on abdominal section - Cable length: 16 meters - Cable maximum load: 12.5 metric tons



Optional:

  * 90mm riot cannon (hand-carried)



**_Patlabor_  analogue:** [AV-98 Ingram](http://www.mahq.net/mecha/patlabor/patlabortv/av-98.htm)

**Known Pilot(s):**

Designated:

  * P.O. Judy Hopps
  * P.O. Howard Hylander



Reserve:

  * Lt. Virginia Lee Foxape
  * P.O. Nick Wilde
  * P.O. Earl Beaverbrook



**Special Notes:**

  * Currently in the "not-quite-prototypical" phase, so Inaba Heavy Industries is taking a special interest in how the ZPD uses its three machines.
  * Has three different head designs since I.H.I. is examining for themselves which is best.
  * To facilitate transport to the field, each Ingrowl unit comes with its own Labor-carrier truck
  * Color scheme aside, there are a few differences between the Ingrowl and  _Patlabor_ 's Ingram. The Ingrowl has a short, generic animal muzzle on all three of its head designs, features North American-style LED lightbars on its shoulders - red on the left shoulder, blue on the right shoulder - and has police car-style bull bars covering its chest section. The Ingram on the other hand, has no muzzle on any of its head designs, has Japanese-style rotating-beacon lightbars that are red on both shoulders, and no bull bars.



* * *

# TFV-97 Crabmammal

 **Model Number:**  TFV-97

 **Code name:**  Crabmammal

 **Use:**  Construction labor - specialized for mountainous or wooded terrain

 **Manufacturer:** Inaba Heavy Industries

 **Height:**  6.14 meters

 **Width:**  3.70 meters

 **Weight:**  9.06 metric tons (10.01 metric tons when fully equipped)

 **Armour:** Fiber-reinforced plastic  & fibre reinforced material

 **Maximum lifting capacity:**  15 metric tons.

 ** _Patlabor_ analogue:** [TFV-97 Crabman](http://www.mahq.net/mecha/patlabor/patlabortv/tfv-97.htm)

**Special notes:**

  * Able to move either insect-style by walking or by driving using the retractable wheels within each leg
  * Is still able to move if one leg is removed. 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've been following this story since I first put it up, you'll notice I've changed the name of the maker of the Ingrowl and Crabmammal from "Shinoharea Heavy Industries" to "Inaba Heavy Industries". After a while, I thought the original name - a play on the company's _Patlabor_ analogue, Shinohara Heavy Industries - was too cringeworthy a pun, so I switched to "Inaba" after finding out about the tale of the Hare of Inaba.
> 
> Now that that's out of the way, I'd like your input. This fanfic will have a moderately episodic plot, so I'm debating whether or not I should make it into a series. You'll have noticed I originally planned to divide the first chapter into two. Let me know whether or not you think that's wise!


	6. Robin of Foxley - Parts I & II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After much speculation, Division 2's final member arrives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, this was two chapters, but after complaints of pacing issues, I've combined them into one.

# Part I

The compact convertible pulled into the small lot outside the converted warehouse that now housed the ZPD’s Special Vehicles Second Section.

Its driver got out and made her way through the doors to the hangar. In it, she spotted mechanics working over the Ingrowls across the hangar from Division 1’s older Python Zeeplabors.

She’d seen the Ingrowls in action, having taken the time to examine the news footage of their deployment on Okavango Road.

She noted with some dismay that the Labor marked ‘222’ – the unit that had delivered the killing blow on the rampaging Crabmammal – was still being hosed off. The rain from that last deployment had caused sediment from the debris of the façade of Ramble’s Department Store to cake all over the Zeeplabor. With that grimy, gritty look, it was hard to believe that it was a machine fresh off the assembly line.

The new arrival frowned. Things were not looking optimistic for her, or those machines…

Just then, one of the mechanics; a stocky hyena woman, glanced at the new arrival from where she had been supervising the cleanup operation.

“Oh, hello there!” said the hyena, “Can I help you?”

“Could you tell me where Captain Bogo is?” asked the new mammal.

“Oh, office is up the stairs, through that door,” the hyena pointed to the upper level, “down the hall, second door on the right.”

“Thank you!”

“Noticed you were eyeballin’ those big boys!” said the hyena, “Real beauts, aren’t they?”

“Inaba Heavy Industries Advanced Vehicle Model 98 – aka. the Ingrowl.” the new arrival quoted from memory, “6.02 tons. 8.02 meters tall. SCB powerplacnt. SCLM drive system. Armed with an electromagnetic baton, as well as 37-millimeter revolver cannon interchangeable with a 37-millimeter tranquilizer pellet gun. Designed specifically for police use so as to make a psychological impact on the community – deterring crime while making the public feel safe.”

With that, the new arrival turned away, leaving the hyena gaping in her wake.

* * *

Judy would have liked nothing better than to forget last night’s disastrous deployment, but she had had to go to work that day and put up with Hylander bragging about his stealth skills.

“I’m still quite amazed I managed to pull it off!” the hyrax chuckled to Beaverbrook and Wilde, “You’d think that that raccoon would have heard the debris falling off my back, or at least one of my footsteps!”

By this point, the rabbit had had enough. “Look, Hylander. You got the first Labor kill of the Division. We all know that…!”

“Oh, no!” the hyrax assured, “I’m not trying to belittle you! In fact, you have an honor that I can only wish I had!”

“Oh?”

“You were the first member of our fledgling division to draw one of our Ingrowl’s trusty 38-milllimeter revolver cannons!” said Hylander, sitting at his desk, head in his hands. “At least I could _still_ conceivably be the first one to _fire_ one of those!”

The hyrax sighed longingly, “I bet the bullet positively _sings_ as it exits the chamber…!”

No wonder Hylander made Judy uneasy. Not only was he egotistical; he was a gun nut.

Just then, Clawhauser burst into the office. “You guys! Our last member is coming!”

“Coming?” said Judy, “When? You said they wouldn’t be here for another week or so.”

“I-I did, but it turns out she’s coming here early!” the cheetah sputtered. “I don’t know when she’ll actually come to SV2, but it should be today! And that’s not all!”

Clawhauser pulled a sheet out of his pocket. “I found out her name and where she’s transferring from!”

“Oh?” said Beaverbrook, “Not her species?”

“Well, I can’t figure out her species…” Clawhauser’s ears drooped, “The paperwork I saw didn’t mention that, and her name didn’t help matters.”

“Why not?” said Hylander, “You should be able to get a handle on a mammal’s species from their surname, right?”

“Gee!” snarked Wilde, without looking up from his box of blueberries, “I wonder what species comes to mind when you think of ‘Wilde?’”

“Very funny, fox!” grumbled Hylander.

“…and _how_ many species have claws, Benjamin _Claw_ hauser? Hell, Officer _Hopps_ might have been a kangaroo for all I knew until I met her!”

“Hey!” piped up Judy.

“L-let’s just have the name, then!” said Beaverbrook, nervously glancing at Hylander and Wilde.

“Okay, you guys…” said Clawhauser, “Our sixth member is Lieutenant Virginia Lee Foxape, formerly of the Deerbrooke County Police.”

Silence fell upon Division 2.

“Fox…ape?” said Wilde, quizzically raising an eyebrow.

More silence.

“…What on earth is a fox-ape?!” sputtered Hylander.

“Maybe she’s the adopted child of an interspecies couple?” suggested Judy.

“That’d be interesting…” said Beaverbrook, adjusting his glasses.

“That still doesn’t tell us what species she is!” said Hylander, “Wait, did you say ‘Lieutenant’?!”

Clawhauser nodded.

Hylander whistled. “Must cut a figure in the Department then! That’d make her the Division’s second-highest-ranking officer after Bogo!”

“Yeah, she’d be our second-in-command…!” said Clawhauser.

“Confound it!” growled Hylander, slamming his hands on his desk, “I wish I’d known all this sooner! We need to know more if we’re to make a good impression!”

“Why’s that?” said Judy.

“She’s going to be our superior!” said Hylander, “We need to show her our respect! Since we don’t know her species _or_ her background, we risk making an irrevocable _faux pas_ right out of the gate!”

“ _Faux pas_ for fox-ape…” Wilde muttered at the pun.

“Well, we know she was last in Deerbrooke County…” said Judy.

“Yeah, that tells us something!” said Beaverbrook, “That’s pretty remote, so I’m guessing she’s a country girl?”

“ _Brilliant!_ ” crowed Hylander, who got out of his chair and wheeled on Judy, “Hopps! You can give us some insights here!”

“Wha…? Me…?”

“You’re from the country, right?” said Hylander, pushing his muzzle closer to Judy in eagerness, “You probably know the social cues!”

“Now hold on a moment!” Judy pushed herself away from the hyrax, “Bunnyburrow’s nothing like Deerbrooke County! The geography’s way too different!”

“Oh?”

“The Tri-Burrows area’s mostly wide open fields – like the Meadowlands District, but with way more farms.” explained Judy, “I’ve never been to Deerbrooke County, but from what I’ve heard, it’s way different. For one, there’s way more mountains and woodlands – so there’s less farming and more lumber.”

“Oh yeah…” said Beaverbrook, “Now that you mention it, I think my family originally came from Deerbrooke way back when…”

“More mining out there, too…” said Judy as a realization hit her, “Hey, come to think of it, maybe that’s why she’s working with Zeeplabors!”

“What do you mean?” asked Clawhauser.

“More mines are using Labors these days.” said Wilde.

“You think that’s where she picked up the experience?” said Beaverbrook.

“See?” said Hylander, “That tells us something! Maybe she’s a digging species! Like a mole! Or another bunny!”

“Don’t most foxes dig?” said Clawhauser, with a glance at Wilde.

“Well, that might _moderately_ explain the name!” said Hylander, “Still, I’d rather have another First than a repeat species…”

“Aww, don’t you worry!” said Wilde, giving his trademark smirk, “There’s plenty of fox to go around as is!”

Hylander would have rebutted, but Beaverbrooke interrupted.

“Hang on a minute!” the beaver typed something on the Ready Room’s antiquated computer, “Yes, here!”

Beaverbrook pulled back to reveal a picture of a news article on the monitor.

“They’re putting in a new dam up near Podunk! There’s a lot of Labors at work building it!”

“Dam-builders! So we could have _two_ beavers, then?” said Hylander, “It’d still be a repeat, though…”

“Well, uh…” Beaverbrook murmured.

“Squirrels!” said Clawhauser all of a sudden.

“Huh?”

“Do they use Labors in the lumber industry?” asked Clawhauser.

“I’m… not sure…” said Hylander.

“I think some companies do…” muttered Wilde.

“I see where you’re going!” said Judy, “You think that if she’s used to using lumber industry Labors, she must be a tree-dwelling species, right?”

“Well, it’s just a thought, really…” said Clawhauser, scratching his chin (one of them).

“There aren’t any tree-dwelling foxes, are there?” muttered Hylander, “At least that would still explain ‘Fox-ape’!”

“I think gray foxes like to go up trees…” muttered Judy.

“Actually,” said Wilde, who by this point actually looked genuinely interested in the conversation, “You don’t see that many gray foxes with actual vulpine last names.”

“Why not?” said Clawhauser.

“They’re _called_ foxes, but they’re actually a different genus from the rest of us.” Wilde reclined in his chair, hands clasped behind his head, studying the ceiling, “We’re _Vulpes_. They’re _Urocyon_. Believe it or not, us red foxes are more closely related to wolves than to gray foxes. Can’t even reproduce together.”

“I… did not know that…” said Hylander. Beaverbrook looked a bit ashamed at the revelation.

Judy began to fiddle with the key drive on her lanyard as she realized she hadn’t known that either.

Now she began to wonder about her old childhood bully, Gideon Grey, who – despite what his name implied – was a _red_ fox. What was up with that?!

Wait…

“Well, maybe-“

Judy was about to cite Gideon as an example that maybe “Fox-ape” really _was_ just a nonsense name, but then the door swung open to reveal the massive frame of Captain Bogo. Everyone stood up and saluted.

“Alright, alright…! At ease!” the water buffalo growled, “I’ve come here today to introduce you to the last member of our team.”

Bogo stood aside so that the rest of Division 2 could see the new arrival. “I’m pressed for time, so I’ll let her handle the introductions herself.”

The new arrival strode into the room, donning an SV2 uniform.

Everyone stared.

She wasn’t a mole.

She wasn’t a rabbit.

She wasn’t a beaver.

She wasn’t a squirrel.

She wasn’t a fox – red _or_ gray.

She wasn’t even an ape – whatever _that_ was.

“Lieutenant Virginia Lee Foxape.” the uniformed opossum gave a curt salute; her expression stoic, “I look forward to working with you."

* * *

_[[OST1]](https://youtu.be/lawB1cDhSVU) _

“ _Ma’am!_ ” barked Hylander, abruptly saluting, then giving a sidelong glare at his fellow officers as if to say ‘salute, you numbskulls!’

“I’ll leave you to get acquainted.” said Bogo, excusing himself from the Ready Room.

There was a palpable silence as Division 2 regarded their newest member. The opossum was on the gaunt side, with steely blue eyes that made her seem to stare right through you. The way her fleshy digits poked out from her furred palms and paws made her look as though she was wearing fingerless gloves and paw wraps.

“Uh, it’s nice to meet you, Lietuenant Fox-ape- er, ‘Folks-app’!” said Beaverbrook, who abruptly remembered how the opossum herself had pronounced her surname.

“Show some respect, Beaverbrook!” growled Hylander, not breaking his salute.

The Lieutenant sighed. “Yes, I know my last name’s spelling may be misleading. I usually go by ‘Lee’ to avoid confusion.”

“Understood, Lieutenant Lee, ma’am!” said Hylander, standing even further to attention.

“Just ‘Lee’ is fine.” said the opossum, sighing again, “There’s no need to be _quite_ so formal…”

“Yes, ma’am!” Hylander dropped his salute, but didn’t seem any more at ease.

Judy groaned. Wilde facepalmed. Judy could tell it was taking all of the opossum’s poise not to do the same.

“Howard Hylander, right?” said Lee, glancing over at Beaverbrook, “And you referred to him as Beaverbrook?”

“That’s correct, ma’am!” said Hylander.

“Earl Beaverbrook.” the beaver nodded, extending a webbed hand, “Sorry I got your name wrong earlier.”

“No hard feelings.” Lee returned the handshake before turning to Hylander, “Then I understand that I’ll be the Backup to your Labor unit, is that correct?”

“Yes, ma’am!” said Hylander, eliciting an eyebrow twitch from Lee.

“I guess that puts me in the carrier for good now, huh?” said Beaverbrook.

“Looks like it.” said Lee, “Sorry to edge you out…”

“Oh, don’t be!” said Beaverbrook, raising his hands, “I think I prefer a backstage role like carrier duty anyway…”

“There’s nothing ignoble about carrier duty.” assured Hylander, “All parts of the finely tuned law enforcement machine and all that!”

“Speaking of law enforcement machines,” said Lee, “I noticed your Labor is still… showing traces of last night’s ordeal?”

“Ah, yes…” said Hylander, “Assorted debris mixed with rainwater can do that. It’s a dirty business, but someone’s got to do it!” The hyrax puffed out his chest.

“Well, use more caution in future.” said Lee, brows suddenly creasing, “Your life depends on those machines. It’d behoove you to show them a little more care.”

“Y-yes, ma’am…” Hylander seemed to deflate like a balloon, prompting a smirk from Wilde. For the first time, Judy smirked along with him.

“With that…” Lee sat at the last remaining unoccupied desk, “I’m hoping that my time here is a fruitful one!”

* * *

 

# Part II

_[[OST2]](https://youtu.be/5ekpdJS74rE) _

_“So what’s the story this time?”_ said Wilde through the radio as Division 2 set out on its first deployment with a full complement.

 _“Ushii Bullfrog.”_ said Bogo, _“Pilot thinks the government’s regulations on Labors are too relaxed, so he’s hoping making a big fuss will spark something off.”_

Judy vowed to take the Bullfrog down herself before Hylander could steal the show again. Still, she wasn't sure how Lee would factor into things. In the two days she'd been with Division 2, Judy had seen little of her command style.

Decking up was a rather quick affair. Judy’s Ingrowl was out of its payload bay first. Wilde’s command car inched up a short while behind her.

“Do you mind?!” she said into her comms system.

“Hey, I’m just keeping an eye on you is all!” said Wilde.

“I don’t need babysitting!” growled Judy.

“Oh, gee, like you didn’t need any in Okavango Road?!”

“Hey! You’re the one that nearly got turned into a foxy pancake!”

“Well, at least I wasn’t _causing_ damage!”

“Excuse me, you two!” came Lee’s impatient voice, “You _do_ realize your loudspeakers are both on, right?!”

The fox and the rabbit clammed up.

* * *

Bogo groaned. They hadn’t even encountered the rogue Labor yet and his Division was making a public embarrassment of themselves already.

…and this time, their guns were _not_ loaded with blanks…!

* * *

_[[OST3]](https://youtu.be/lPw1zZGb1iA) _

The UL-97 Bullfrog was a squat, bipedal machine with three-fingered hands. Instead of a proper head, it had a fighter jet-style canopy cockpit that gave the pilot a wide field of view.

This one was colored a yellow ochre color, though it was getting caked with dust and mud as it smashed through the Rainforest District.

“ _We demand more regulations on Labors!_ ” the pine marten inside crowed through the Labor’s loudspeakers, “You saw what happened in Savanna Central! I mean, look! Any nutjob can do _this!_ ” The mustelid drove his machine’s fist into a house.

“Freeze! ZPD!” Judy’s Unit 1 approached from the front, stun stick drawn, “That’s as far as you go!”

“You see that?!” yelled the pine marten, “A new model-Zeeplabor! You see?! Lionheart, the council, they’re all in the maker’s pockets! This is what they’ve sown!”

The Bullfrog charged Unit 1 and delivered a punch. Judy raised her shield and blocked it, but soon found herself tumbling into an apartment building beside her.

Judy quickly got up and swung at the Bullfrog with her stun stick. The Bullfrog was able to dodge though, so the baton only grazed the machine’s abdomen.

“Carrots! Calm down!” came Wilde’s voice.

“I’ve got it _covered_ , Wilde!” Judy growled as she grabbed the Bullfrog and pushed it toward a T-junction in the road, the ochre Labor’s feet digging up the pavement as they went. A small park lay beyond the road, with the flowing Animazon River just beyond it.

* * *

_“Well, she’s relocating the fight…”_ said Clawhauser through Nick’s radio, _“Nothing wrong with that…”_

Nick agreed with Clawhauser at first, but then he realized something.

“Carrots! You’ve gotta pull out of there!”

_“Don’t call me Carrots!”_

* * *

  _“Will you please just_ listen _?!”_ Wilde’s voice came through again, _“The humidity in this place is off the charts! If you take him too close to the river-“_

“Then I won’t take him too close to the river!”

 _“Yeah, but even in the park, that Ingrowl weighs more than six tons!”_ Wilde exclaimed, _“There’s a sign right next to my command car that says mammals more than two tons are barred from the park for safety reasons!”_

Judy would have pondered that, but all of a sudden, the Bullfrog came at her again, fist raised. Judy raised Unit 1’s shield and prepared to block it, but then all of a sudden, both Labors found themselves flailing for balance.

* * *

“Gyah! Dumb bunny…!” Nick threw his cap into his car’s passenger-side seat in frustration as the park was turned into a mud pit by the slip-sliding Labors.

The ground in that park was just too soft for Labors to walk properly on!

Deaf to reason! The crazy rabbit was deaf to reason!

* * *

Unit 1 tried to rush the Bullfrog, but found itself falling forward. Judy put her Ingrowl’s hand forward, and wound up driving the stun stick into the muck. Using the baton to steady herself, Judy tried to pull her Labor up again, but all of a sudden, the Bullfrog advanced on her, pulling her off the stun stick, then pulling on the Ingrowl’s left arm until it was wrenched off completely at the elbow. The Bullfrog then forced Unit 1 face-first into the mud.

* * *

Lee groaned as she drove her command car up to the park, Unit 2 close behind. She’d seen the footage from Okavango Road, but she’d had no idea the Division’s synergy was _this_ bad!

 _“Wilde, stand down!”_ came Bogo’s voice through the radio.

Lee looked over at the park. Sure enough, Wilde’s command car was driving over to where the Bullfrog was crouched over the prostrate Unit 1.

“Stay away!” said the Bullfrog’s pilot, “I’ll flatten you both!”

“Right,” Wilde spoke into the receiver through the command car’s loudspeakers, “Because Labors are _biiiiig_ and _scaaaary_!”

Lee gaped. Wilde had tried talking down the Crabmammal’s pilot on Okavango Road and failed. He wasn’t going to try it again, surely!

“Just give it up!” Hopps’ voice came through the muffled loudspeakers, “Resisting arrest won’t do you any good!”

“No! Not until I’ve shown this city what sort of a mess Labors can make in the wrong hands! Like _this!_ ” the Bullfrog reached over, uprooted a tree, and flung it at Wilde’s command car. Wilde quickly got back in, pulled the car into reverse, and dodged it.

“As far as I’m concerned, that Labor _is_ in the wrong hands!” said Hopps, trying to push Unit 1 off the ground. However, the sudden concentration of weight caused the Ingrowl’s remaining hand to sink into the mud.

“Stay down, will ya?!” the Bullfrog slammed its elbow into the Ingrowl’s back.

“Hey, _hey_!” suddenly, Wilde’s car was almost right next to Unit 1.

 _“Wilde, pull out now!”_ roared Bogo as the fox poked his head out of the command car.

“Well, you’re right about the Ingrowls.” Wilde said, casually rubbing his fingers together as he spoke into his car’s loudspeakers. “City pumped a _loooot_ of taxpayer’s dollars into those money piles.” He nodded his head toward Unit 1 beside him. “But you know what else is big fat waste of money? Repairing them after they get trashed over and over! So why not just save us the extra tax dollars and come quietly, huh?”

Lee stared, flabbergasted. “Wilde, you heard the Captain! Stand down!” the possum yelled into her radio.

“But I got a statement to make, here!” yelled the Bullfrog pilot, “I gotta show everyone how dangerous these things are!”

“Mmmm-hm…” said Wilde, having clearly not heard Lee’s order, “Well, with all the noise you’ve been making, anyone can see the Labor’s clearly _not_ wearing the pants in _this_ relationship! If you were to actually _kill_ someone with it, _you’d_ get life imprisonment, but that Bullfrog… Worst-case scenario for the Labor is, the blood gets hosed off and it gets melted down into scrap metal that’s probably used to make _more_ Labors.”

“But-but my message!” the rogue Labor pilot stammered.

“It’ll get lost in the chaos.” said Wilde, “You know the media. They like to put a face on a problem – and that Bullfrog doesn’t have much of a face. They’ll dump all of the blame on you! If anything, you’d come out of it looking like a massive hypocrite for willfully endangering mammals like this! You’d actually stand a _better_ chance of proving your point if you turned yourself in now!”

Lee’s brows raised. She hadn’t expected that.

“Whaddya mean?!” demanded the Bullfrog pilot.

“If you turned yourself in, it’d show that you can control yourself – not like that raccoon at Okavango Road. That’ll make everyone think ‘Oh wow! We got off lucky! Maybe we _should_ tighten those Labor regs!’ Even Lionheart would lose some sleep over _that_!”

The silence was palpable. Even Hopps seemed cowed into submission.

“Lieutenant?” Hylander’s voice came through Lee’s radio, “Any suggestions?”

Lee was rendered speechless – not something that happened often.

Before she could say anything, a voice from the Bullfrog’s loudspeakers cut into her thoughts.

“Okay, I’m coming out!”

 _“What…?!”_ Bogo’s voice murmured through Lee’s radio.

Sure enough, the Bullfrog’s airplane-style canopy was opening up and the pine marten inside stood up and raised his hands.

Lee gawked. Unbelievable. Wilde had actually done it…!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **SCB:** Superconductive Battery Cells
> 
>  **SCLM:** Superconductive Linear Motor
> 
> Virginia Lee Foxape – Virginia opossum ( _Didelphis virginiana_ ) – The inspiration behind Lee’s first name should be obvious there. As for Lee’s surname, things get… complicated. When European explorers first came to the ‘New World’, they claimed to have discovered a freakish hybrid of fox and ape there. Their discovery would turn out to be related to neither fox nor ape – it was an opossum!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  **BACKGROUND MUSIC:**  
>   
> 
> 1) Kenji Kawai - "Another Day at the Office" ("Salaryman no Nichijou") - from _Earth Defense Dai-Guard_
> 
> 2) Kenji Kawai - "Computer Terminal" - from _Patlabor - The Mobile Police_ TV series
> 
> 3) Toshihiko Sahashi - "The Words" - from _The Big O_


	7. Robin of Foxley - Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the unexpected resolution of Division 2's last deployment, Captain Bogo confers with three of his officers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say here, really! I'm glad you guys are enjoying this pic so far!

It was a haggard Division 2 that returned to the SV2 building.

When Joanna Namakoro saw massive Labor-Carriers pull in through the hangar doors, she grimaced at the thick mud that covered Unit 1 from head-to-toe. Her expression grew into one of panic when she saw that its severed left arm was lashed to the trailer.

She ran down to the carrier as Judy Hopps jumped out of it with a sullen expression on her face.

“What happened out there?!” demanded Joanna.

“She got stuck in the muck!” said Nick Wilde as he stepped out of his command car. His tone was oddly humorless, despite the pun.

Joanna glanced back to Judy. “When the Chief hears this, there’ll be-“

“JOANNA!” a voice suddenly shrilled from the ajar door marked ‘OFFICE OF THE CHIEF MECHANIC’.

“Yes, Chief!” the hyena suddenly stood to attention.

“Tell that bumbling baked-beans-for-brains bunny barbarian that if she comes back here with another severed limb, I’ll tie that limb to her cottontail, fly her up to 5,000 feet, and _drop ‘er in the bay!_ ”

“Y-yes, Chief…” Joanna sighed.

Judy glanced over to the door. That tiny office had no windows and she couldn’t see the bat through the crack in the door. “How’d she know the arm was off?”

“Echolocation.” Joanna gestured to her ears, “She can _hear_ the damage!”

“Wilde!” said Captain Bogo as he climbed out of his cruiser, “I’d like a word with you – in my office!”

“Big hero…” Judy muttered darkly.

“What’s the problem?” said Joanna.

“How can he make that take-down when he doesn’t even want to be here?!” Judy stared after the fox as he went up the stairs after Bogo.

* * *

_[[OST1]](https://youtu.be/LkYSSFxHBmc) _

“This makes twice that you have attempted to talk down renegade Labor pilots.” said Bogo, regarding the fox in front of him, “I am searching desperately for a reason to throw the book at you. However, the only offense I _can_ throw at you is insubordination – and in this case, even if you _had_ followed my orders, it probably would have resulted in more damage to Unit 1 and to the surrounding neighbourhood.”

“If you want to kick me out, just go ahead and do it…” Wilde muttered.

Bogo pretended he hadn’t heard that.

“Wilde…” Bogo leaned over his desk, “Is there a particular reason you insist on trying to negotiate with rogue Labor pilots?”

The fox remained silent.

Bogo tried another tack. “Were you trying to protect Hopps? Save her the trouble of fighting?”

“No.”

The response was prompt enough. Wilde was a hard mammal to read, but Bogo felt that that was the truth.

“What about the Labor-criminals? Are you trying to save _them_?”

More silence.

Bogo rubbed his head with his hoof. “Listen, Wilde. I can understand your reasoning, but it’s bad enough that Hopps insists on being reckless. The last thing I need is for her Backup to do the same.”

“It’s nothing like that!” Wilde seemed offended at the suggestion that he was behaving like Hopps. “It’s Hopps who’s putting mammal’s lives at risk!”

“But it’s _you_ putting _yours_ at risk.” said Bogo. “As Unit 1’s Backup, it’s your job to keep _Hopps_ from going off the rails; not the criminals.”

“I figure it’d be easier to spare them having Hopps go after them!”

That was revealing, but not as much as Bogo would have liked. “Wilde, you’re not a police negotiator. Sooner or later, you’re going to encounter more mammals like that raccoon on Okavango Road who _won’t_ listen to reason. The fact is, if all mammals had common sense, we wouldn’t need a police force, let alone Patrol Labors.”

Bogo stood up, walked over to the window, and stared into the distance. “You got lucky with that pine marten. That was a one-in-a-million moment. I’ve been on the force long enough to know that there are far too many mammals out there who are absolutely convinced they’re going to Hell no matter _what_ they do, so they let that resignation and despair eat away at them until there’s nothing left of them but soulless husks who shut out all attempts by others to connect with them.”

“I-I’m not sure I follow, sir.” Wilde murmured.

“What I’m trying to say is, while it’s understandable – maybe even admirable – that you want to save these criminals from themselves, it’s not your job to do so. It’s _our_ job to make sure they don’t drag the rest of the world to Hell with them – to make sure there’s no reason for the mammals of the future to follow their path.”

Bogo turned to the fox with a piercing glare. “That also means understanding that whatever happens to _you_ is _not_ an isolated event. There’s a Memorial Wall over at Precinct 1 that proves this. If your name winds up on that wall, someday there _will_ be someone who will look at that name and feel regret – even if _you_ don’t…!”

Wilde just stared up at the buffalo, stammering. “Sir, I… I… I don’t think…!”

Bogo then sat behind his desk. “Now, my _other_ concern is your partnership with Hopps. As I’ve said, it’s your job as her Backup to ensure that she doesn’t end up on that wall either, and to ensure that she performs to the best of her ability. You don’t seem particularly willing to do so.”

Wilde’s sour tone returned. “What’s the point if she won’t listen?”

Bogo sighed. “I was afraid you’d say that that. I’m not sure if it’s your approach, or something else, but I’m asking you to keep trying. As I’ve said, whatever happens in your life is not an isolated event; your actions – or inactions – could reflect badly on _her_ career as well as yours. Is that understood, _Officer_?”

“Y-Yes, sir…”

“I _know_ Hopps is capable of using that machine more efficiently, so from now on, I’d appreciate it if the two of you tried to meet each other halfway – for the good of your careers, for the mammals you’re _supposed_ to protect, and for the annoyingly expensive machine she smashed up on that last deployment. Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir…”

* * *

Nick stepped out of the office with too many questions in his head. After that mention of the Memorial Wall, Nick had had the perfect opportunity to tell Bogo that perhaps a fox like him should leave the wall to the _real_ officers. He could’ve turned his badge in then and there! _So why didn’t he?!_

Also, that mention of Hopps’s career! What did _he_ care if she got canned?! It wasn’t like that bunny didn’t have a safety net in case she lost her job here! He’d told her himself that she could just head back to Bunnyburrow and work on the farm! He’d overheard her mention to Joanna that her family had a big farm! So why had Bogo’s words hit him so much?!

Suddenly, an all-too-familiar voice began ringing in his head. Nick growled. He wished that stupid vixen would just shut the hell up!

He was so preoccupied with this that he almost didn’t notice Virginia Lee Foxape passing him into the office.

* * *

“Lieutenant…” said Bogo, regarding the opossum’s entrance, “Is there something you wish to discuss?”

“Yes, sir.” said Lee, “It’s about Officer Hopps.”

* * *

_[[OST2]](https://youtu.be/DKS9BsRQYzs) _

Judy was on her way to Ready Room 2 to drown her aggravation in carrot juice when her sensitive ears caught Lee mentioning her name.

Bogo shut the door after Lee, but Judy was able to press her ear to the door, listening in.

* * *

“What is it, Fox-ape?”

“It’s pronounced ‘Folks-app’, sir,” said Lee, back ramrod straight as her gaze bored into the wall behind Bogo, “and as I said, it’d be easier if you just called me Lee.”

“I’m too used to seeing your name on paper.” said Bogo, “Now what is your concern with Hopps?”

“I’m worried about her attitude, sir.”

“Oh?”

“Both at Animazon River Park, and in Okavango Road, she disregarded orders from you, from me, and from her Backup.” explained Lee, “She’s also been particularly prone to collateral damage, seeing nothing wrong with hurling a ten-ton Crabmammal at a high-end clothing store or with using an apartment building to cushion her fall. She also pulled a 38-millimeter cannon in a cramped shopping district and charged into Amimazon River Park without taking the terrain into account.”

“I see…" Bogo took a deep breath in, "You’re concerned that she’s too reckless…”

“’Reckless’ would be an understatement, sir. The fact is, Hopps is a loose cannon. I just don’t think that she can be trusted to operate a six-ton Labor. As long as she’s in Unit 1, she poses a threat to herself, and to officers and civilians around her." The possum paused to let her words set in. "I know it sounds harsh, but it’s my considered opinion that it’s only a matter of time until her impetuousness has lethal consequences.”

Bogo raised an eyebrow, “…That _is_ a harsh judgment to make, Lee. I suppose you have a solution for this?”

“Yes, sir.” said Lee, “I would recommend that Hopps be removed from her post as Unit 1’s Forward; ideally transferred out of Special Vehicles entirely. Perhaps have her work as a meter-maid or relegate her to desk duties. Short of dismissal, I think that'd be the most prudent option."

"...and Unit 1?"

"I can pilot Unit 1 either until a replacement is selected, or on a permanent basis.”

* * *

Judy backed away from the door, breathing heavily. No… They wouldn’t…!

The doe then ran to the Ready Room. This was not happening… This was _not_ happening…!

* * *

Bogo’s attention briefly turned to the door. Odd. Were those footsteps he’d heard?

His attention soon turned back to his second-in-command.

“I can understand your logic…” he remarked, “But I don’t think I can implement your proposal.”

Lee’s brows raised. “Why not, sir?”

“Lee, it’d be an understatement to say that this is a young Division.” Bogo sighed, “We have only gone on two deployments – of which, you have only seen one. Apart from you, none of us had any experience in using law enforcement Labors until we came here – I for one don’t think I could wrap my head around them even if I _could_ fit in the cockpit. Even the Ingrowls themselves are rough around the edges. It may be too hasty to judge Hopps based on her performance in those last two deployments.”

Lee seemed to be restraining indignancy. “I see. Is that all, sir?”

“No, not quite.” Bogo donned his half-moon glasses and began typing at his computer. “You took the ZPD’s Police Labor Aptitude Test, right?”

“Yes, sir.” said Lee. “I took it when I transferred to the ZPD.”

“Observe this, then.” Bogo pivoted the monitor so that the opossum could see it. “These are the rankings of _all_ mammals who have taken the P.L.A.T.”

  1. **M. Sanderson - 96.4%**
  2. **A. Polecatsky - 94.9%**
  3. **J. Hopps - 92.1%**
  4. **S. McTachy - 91.7%**
  5. **W. Hickory - 86.0%**
  6. **H. Hylander - 85.5%**
  7. **V. Foxape - 85.4%**



Lee’s eyebrows shot up after seeing Hopp’s score.

“As you can see, Hopps is the only officer in the top five who’s not currently serving with Division 1.” explained Bogo, “The only reason Wanda Hickory is a reserve pilot is because the Department wants to avoid continually re-adjusting cockpits for a mammal her size.

“In the academy, Hopps’ instructors made a particular note of her ability to find unorthodox solutions to problems, and her PLAT instructors in particular noted that they were impressed with her control ability and finesse. So I know she _can_ be careful – the question is, how to make her use that caution more often.

“As for you, the Deerbrooke County Police have said over and over again that they were impressed with your leadership ability and your ability to keep cool under pressure. I’ve seen your record. It speaks of a mammal best suited for a command position. This Division has gotten the short end of the stick in just about every other respect, so I want to make full use of the mammalpower I get – by placing them in the positions they’re best suited for.”

“With respect, sir, those are just test results.” said Lee, “There’s no substitute for actual experience.”

“Quite right,” said Bogo, taking off his glasses, “which is why I don’t think it’s fair that we judge Hopps based on two deployments. The question we _should_ be asking is; can she grow beyond this impetuousness? You saw that this last time, she tried her hand at conflict relocation. At the very least, she’s _trying_ to do her job correctly.

“Now as it stands, only three of us – you, Clawhauser, and myself – have law enforcement experience, and of them, only you have experience piloting law enforcement Labors. If this were a regular precinct, I would have at least a few elder officers to help the new generation settle in. With Division 2, I don’t have that luxury. I was hoping that your arrival would give us a mentor figure that could help guide us.

“With that,” Bogo sat back in his chair, “I would appreciate it if you made an effort to guide Hopps – and the rest of us – out of this rough period.”

“I understand, sir,” said Lee, “but I have my doubts that she will listen.”

Bogo sighed. That made two in a row… “Lee, at the very least, I need you to _try_ – for the good of the unit.”

Lee took a deep breath in. “Is that your final word on the matter, sir?”

“For the time being, yes.”

“Very well, sir.” Lee saluted and turned for the door.

Lee tried to hide it, but Bogo noticed that the opossum’s fist was clenched as she left the office.

* * *

When the mechanic’s “shopping platoon” came back from the Ewe-Mart, Benjamin Clawhauser had offered to shuttle Division 2’s share of the food up to Ready Room 2.

He was just stocking the fridge when Judy Hopps came dashing in. The little bunny looked dejected, ears drooping, eyes glazed over and angled downward. Hopps just walked over to her desk and laid her head on her arms.

“Judy?” Ben was careful to use the rabbit’s first name as he closed the fridge door, “What’s wrong?”

* * *

“I can’t help but wonder,” asked Captain Polecatsky, “why you put Hopps and Wilde together in the first place.”

“Originally,” Bogo grumbled, “I was hoping Hopps’ dedication to her work would rub off on Wilde. Now though I’m wondering if it’s Wilde that needs to keep an eye on Hopps!”

“Opposites attract, hm?” quipped the skunk, “So why do you think things aren’t working out?”

“Well, even if I didn’t know it…” Bogo glanced over at the files in his hands, “Both Wilde and Foxape- _Lee_ have said that Hopps seems to close herself off when on deployment – from Wilde in particular.”

“Hmmm…” Polecatsky put her head in her hand. “It may be time to use that secret weapon I gave you…”

“What secret weapon?!”

“ _Captain Bogo_!” Benjamin Clawhauser suddenly burst through the office door, panting.

“Clawhauser!” grumbled Bogo, “What is it?!”

“I-I-“ the portly cheetah suddenly stood to attention, “P-p- _please_ don’t do this! I know Officer Hopps hasn’t been the most reliable Labor pilot in the world, but I think-“

“Slow down, Clawhauser!” Bogo barked, “What is it that I should reconsider?”

“W-well, sir…” Clawhauser’s tail slumped as he studied the floor, “Hopps came over to me. She said she overheard you talking with Lee about you reassigning her!”

Bogo buried his head in his hooves, recalling the footsteps he’d heard while talking with Lee. “Of _course_ she did…!”

The Cape buffalo sighed. “Clawhauser, Lieutenant Lee’s suggestion that Hopps be reassigned was just that – a suggestion! I have no plans to reassign anyone at this point!”

“Oh…” Clawhauser seemed to shrink even more.

“Have you or Hopps told anyone else about our conversation?”

“No, Hopps came straight to me as far as I know…”

“I’ll straighten things out with her later.” said Bogo. “In the meantime, you needn’t worry. Unless she makes a major mistake, her position is secure for the time being.”

“Y-you don’t sound all that sure, sir…”

Damn. Clawhauser was more observant than Bogo had figured him for. “The point is that-“

Suddenly, Polecatsky coughed loudly. Bogo turned around to observe the skunk tilt her head and give a pointed glance toward Clawhauser.

Bogo remembered what Polecatsky had said about a ‘secret weapon’. “Clawhauser, would you say you’re on good terms with Hopps and Wilde?”

“Well, not that much…” Clawhauser rubbed the back of his neck, “I’ve talked a little with Judy, but not about work. Nick doesn’t talk that much at all, really.”

“Well, perhaps you might be able to help their situation.” Bogo sat up straight in his chair, “Wilde at the very least seems to want to keep property damage down, but he doesn’t seem motivated in actually backing Unit 1 up. Hopps on the other hand is _very_ motivated, but this makes her blind to the consequences of her actions at times. Now, ideally, one would balance out the other, but they’re refusing to engage with one another. I want to know why, and more importantly; how I can rectify this problem.

“Now, as Unit 1’s carrier-driver, you are the closest officer to them professionally. I’d very much appreciate it if you could help those two out in their predicament – get them to see eye to eye a bit more.”

“Uh, sir?” said Clawhauser, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but… they’re not on the best of terms at the moment…”

“Clawhauser, I’m not asking you to get them married!” Bogo glared, “Just make sure they don’t get each other killed! Just keep an eye on them – find _some shred_ of common ground between them. I don’t want any reassignments if I can avoid it!”

“Y-yes, sir!” the cheetah stepped out of the office.

He had an uphill job ahead of him, but...

Memories of childhood dinners then flowed through the cheetah's mind.

 _No._ He wouldn't see that happen with Nick and Judy. He'd do _something_ to make it right!

…But what…?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **BACKGROUND MUSIC:**
> 
>  
> 
> 1) Kenji Kawai - "The Feeling of Defeat" ("Haiboku Kan") - from _Earth Defense Dai-Guard_
> 
> 2) Kenji Kawai - "Scheming" ("Sakuryaku") - from _Earth Defense Dai-Guard_


	8. Robin of Foxley - Part IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benjamin Clawhauser: the hero Division 2 needs - _and_ the one it deserves!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya folks! I'm _ba-aaaack_!
> 
> I got busy with the "Retreating Fox" series (still don't know if that's a good name), but now I've got another segment of this story here for ya!
> 
> You may have noticed by that I've gone back, added some soundtrack links, but I've also made the OST links a little less intrusive throughout the fic, moving the song information to the end notes.
> 
> If you think there's a better way to do this, let me know in a review!

Okay, Benjamin Fredrick Clawhauser.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it (okay, you weren’t given much choice… and you’ve already accepted it), is to identify the source of discontent and tension between Officers Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde.

Otherwise, this partnership will self-destruct in five days… one day? A week? How much time did he have, exactly?

Either way, good luck, Ben…

Clawhauser walked from the office into the hangar. There, he noticed his targets.

Both Nick and Judy were walking toward one another. As soon as they came near one another though, they glanced at one another and abruptly changed direction so that they moved away from one another.

Clawhauser had to screw his courage to the sticking-point, remembering his mission.

Judy, even with her altered course, had elected to exchange a few words with Joanna Namakoro.

Now _there_ was a start. Joanna seemed to be one of the closest mammals to Judy here at SV2. Maybe she’d be of some help.

“Hopps!” barked Captain Bogo’s voice from the catwalk next to Clawhauser. Bogo then gestured for Judy to follow him. Must be calling her to set the record straight about the ‘reassignment’ fiasco.

Clawhauser, seeing his chance, walked up to the hyena. “Uh… hi?” he waved meekly.

“Hi…?” said the hyena, not sure what to make of the portly cheetah’s approach.

“Soooo…” Ben twiddled his thumbs, “What did Judy want to talk about?”

“Oh, just asking how soon we’d get that arm back on.” Joanna gestured to where Unit 1’s severed left arm still lay.

“Nothing more… uh… personal?”

“Nooooo…?” said the hyena, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing about certain… vulpines…?”

“Okay…” Joanna tilted her head in confusion, “Now you’ve lost me. What’s this about, anyway?”

Ben sighed and told Joanna about Judy’s overhearing Lee and Captain Bogo talking about her, as well as Captain Bogo’s request. “I’m worried that if things don’t shape up between her and Nick, she’ll be out of a job!”

“That sucks…” Joanna murmured, “But why are you interested?”

“I, uh…” Clawhauser shuffled nervously, “I just… don’t like seeing mammals fight is all… Especially when they should be close to one another…”

Ben quickly snapped out of this melancholy. “The point is, I’m wondering if you know anything about why they’re having trouble getting along.”

“Well, I couldn’t tell ya about Wilde…” Joanna muttered, “but Judy _did_ mention something about Wilde ‘not wanting to be here’ after you guys got back. Sounded particularly hacked off then…”

“You know what that meant?” said Ben.

“Not really sure. You’d have to ask her – or him.” said Joanna, “But my Mom has a saying; ‘When a salt-shaker picks a fight with a pepper mill, you’ll be cleaning the mess years later!’”

Ben stared at Joanna. “…What does that mean?”

“I have no idea…” the hyena remarked, “It just sounded fitting! Either way, you oughta hear it straight from them if you ask me – and Clawhauser?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m rootin’ for ya here. From what I hear, Wilde’s got a more careful approach. If Judy listened to him more often, it’d save us techs having to pick up the pieces after _that_ kind of deployment!” Joanna gestured to Unit 1, in all its battered, dented, mud-covered, one-armed glory. “So if ya need any help, I’m right here!”

“Th-thanks, Joanna!” said Clawhauser, making his way back to the Ready Room, “I appreciate it!”

* * *

Ben was surprised when he found out the only one in Ready Room 2 was Beaverbrook, reading a book on sailing.

“Where’d everybody go?” the cheetah asked.

“Oh, Lee’s decided to do a bit of jogging. Hylander went with her.” the beaver adjusted his glasses, “I think Captain Bogo’s talking with Hopps right now. Don’t know where Wilde’s gone off to.”

“Oh…” Clawhauser was going to go look for Wilde himself when Judy came into the room, ears flat.

“Oh, hi!” said Ben, “I was looking for you!”

“Captain says no one’s getting reassigned.” said the bunny doe, sitting at her desk, putting her head in her hands “Still, I can’t believe Lee thinks that little of me! I mean, am I _really_ that bad?!”

Clawhauser and Beaverbrook exchanged a fearful glance. Neither of them wanted to answer that question. Ben in particular knew that if he said yes, Judy would take offense, but if he said no, Judy would think it was just empty reassurance.

“Well, Wilde’s been trying to help keep down the collateral damage.” said Beaverbrook at last. “Maybe you could ask him for a few pointers?”

“Yeah, _Wilde_ …” Judy muttered with contempt, trailing off as she stared at the wall in front of her.

Beaverbrook beat Ben to the punch again. “Is something wrong with Wilde?”

“Apart from the fact that he’s willfully slacking off yet somehow doing better than me despite all the effort I put in?! Not much, really!” Judy rolled her eyes.

“Willfully slacking off?” said Clawhauser, “You don’t mean that, right?”

“Well, _he_ does!” Judy turned around in her chair, “He told me himself he was actively trying to get kicked off the force!”

Clawhauser and Beaverbrook were floored.

“Why would he do that?!” said Ben.

“He said his being here was a mistake.” Judy turned her attention back to the wall, “That he can only be a ‘sly fox’.”

“Well then, why doesn’t he just quit?” said Clawhauser.

Judy shrugged. “You ask him!”

Ben made a mental note to do just that.

Beaverbrook piped up again. “Maybe he _does_ like it here…?”

“Huh?” Judy and Ben both turned to look at the beaver.

“Well, maybe deep down, he wants to be a part of this? I mean, why else would he have joined?”

“But now that he’s here, why is he trying to get out?!” Judy began to raise her voice, “I mean, I’ve wanted to be a cop my whole life! I’ve worked my tail off to get this far. But Wilde, now that he’s gotten this far, he’s just gonna take all that effort, all that hard work, and just throw it down the toilet?!”

Judy seemed to realize how loud she was getting and eased up. “It’s just that I joined the force to help make the world a better place. You don’t become a cop if you don’t want to help mammals! If Wilde can’t understand that, then he should just cut the nonsense and quit now!”

Judy got up from her desk and left the room in a huff.

Clawhauser thought of going after her, but when he poked his head out the door, the bunny was nowhere to be found. And he thought cheetahs were fast!

Either way, the cheetah now had a better idea of where things stood. Judy didn’t just disapprove of Wilde’s slacking; she took it as a personal slight. Needless to say, she felt little respect for Wilde.

Well, that explained one end of the problem. Now for the other one…!

“Hey, uh… Beaverbrook? Uh… Earl…? Uh…”

“Uh, Earl is fine. Beaverbrook’s a mouthful anyway.” said Beaverbrook, “Some people still call me Max after my middle name, but not so much these days.”

“Thanks, Earl. I was just wondering, how’d you figure that about Wilde?”

“Figure what?”

“That he wants to be a cop deep down?”

“Uh… well…” the beaver suddenly seemed tense. “I figured that- um… well, you don’t get through the academy if you don’t put some hustle into it, right?”

“That’s a good point…” Clawhauser stroked his chin, “But why would he want to leave? And why try and get kicked out? That still doesn’t make any sense!”

“Well…” Earl cut himself short, stroked his own chin, removed a popsicle stick from his pocket, and began chewing it in thought.

Ben sat himself down at his own desk and sighed. Unlike Judy, Wilde hadn’t really opened up to any of the others here at SV2. If Ben was to figure out what was going wrong between Unit 1’s Forward and Backup, he’d have to approach that fox directly…!

* * *

However, by this point, Wilde had proven himself to be a master at evasion and elusion – especially when any degree of work needed to be done.

Thankfully, one of the mechanics – a big, burly coyote – was able to point out the fox’s location, and so Clawhauser found himself walking around the seawall until he found the tod, fishing as per usual.

Since the incident with the sea bass, Nick Wilde had opted to shift his fishing location over and over again, in hopes that this rotation would get Judy to stop pestering him.

This time, the location was directly underneath the Edwin F. Hoofsheimer Bridge. It was well-shaded thanks to the bridge, but Wilde donned his wayfarers anyway.

“Hey, uh… Nick?” Ben waved nervously, “Is it okay if I call you Nick?”

“I call you Benjy and we’re even.” Nick chuckled.

“Okay then!” Clawhauser had heard Nick call Judy ‘Carrots’, Bogo ‘Buffalo-Butt’, and Hylander ‘Blunderbuss’ (after hearing the hyrax go into excessive detail about firearms history), so ‘Benjy’ didn’t feel that bad in comparison – in fact, it reminded Ben of growing up with his little brother.

Ben sat down beside Nick’s lawn chair. “So, uh… No bites?”

“Not a one.” Nick smirked.

Another uncomfortable silence.

“I should’ve brought out some donuts…” Clawhauser murmured.

“Would’ve helped, yeah…”

More silence.

Clawhauser sighed. He was afraid bringing up Judy’s accusation would make things awkward. Since that wouldn’t be a problem here…

“Are-are you really trying to get kicked off the force?” Clawhauser almost whispered.

“Yep…” Nick didn’t break eye contact with the bay.

“Why? I mean, we’re alright, aren’t we?”

“Oh, you are.” Clawhauser wished he’d take off those sunglasses so he could read Nick’s expression. “It’s just that they’ll give me the boot sooner or later. Why not sooner?”

“Why would they give you the boot?”

“Tell me, Benjy, do the words, ‘trustworthy’ and ‘fox’ mesh well together for you?”

“Uh…” Ben hadn’t expected that.

“They don’t. Sooner or later they’re gonna push me out.”

“Well, you got through the academy, didn’t you?” Clawhauser forced a smile.

“ _Please_.” Nick’s tone was eerily dissonant, “I got through the academy because there weren’t enough small mammals with Labor certification who signed up. I figure I’m just a placeholder until someone better qualified gets in. Then they’ll probably bump me down to parking duty, or find some other way of shoving me out. I figure if I get kicked out first, it’ll save me having to wear the clown vest.”

“They wouldn’t do that, would they?!” Ben sputtered.

“Why not? This entire Division’s a joke, really. Why d’you think they put Captain Buffalo-Butt in charge?”

This was new. “B-but Captain Bogo’s one of the most respected officers on the Force!”

“So Chief Swinton likes to say, but really she and the rest of the Old Guard can’t stand the sight of him, so they put him out here where they figure he can’t do any damage except to his own credibility.”

“What do you mean?”

In through the weeds came Judy Hopps. She looked puzzled at what Nick was saying. She must’ve been out to try and get Nick to stop fishing again.

“Well, it’s like this, Carrots.” Nick took off his sunglasses at last, “You know the Barry Wallace Murder?”

Judy and Ben exchanged a glance. Both of them knew about that case. It had begun when Barry Wallace, a wallaby liquor store owner, washed up in the Zoobezi River in Savanna Central, having been garroted to death. The ZPD had seemed thwarted at every turn, so Captain Bogo had stepped in personally. Eventually, Bogo realized that evidence was disappearing in mysterious circumstances, which finally led to him arresting ZPD Lieutenant Owen Humperdink, who had been running the case until Bogo’s intervention.

It had turned out that Humperdink himself had been the killer. Wallace had discovered that Humperdink had essentially been running a protection racket; threatening to report trumped-up health and safety violations against various eateries if they didn’t serve him – and sometimes other officers – for free. Wallace had tried blackmailing Humperdink, but instead had found himself murdered by the camel Lieutenant.

“Yeah? That was considered one of the biggest triumphs in Bogo’s career!” said Judy.

“ _And_ one of the biggest _flops_ in the ZPD’s.” continued Nick, “It doesn’t look good when a cop gets a murder rap; especially Humperdink, whose dad was a Borough Chief – and one of the ZPD’s Old Guard. You’ll remember Humperdink Sr. decided to retire early after his son was convicted.

“Anyway, Swinton and the Old Guard were in a tight spot as it was, so you can only imagine their reactions when Bogo gets caught in a presser saying things like ‘no one is above the law – no matter their position, no matter their connections.’”

“What’s so bad about a cop saying he believes in Rule of Law?!” said Judy.

“Carrots, this is the Old Guard we’re talking about!” chuckled Nick, “The _last_ thing they want is a crusader cop in their midst stirring up trouble and making them look like idiots! So, they figure Buffalo-Butt is Kryptonite, but thanks to that interview, he’s _popular_ Kryptonite, so they can’t punish him _per se_.

“What they do instead is they send him over _here_ – as far away from Precinct 1 as they can stick ‘im. Over here, he looks insignificant next to up-and-coming celebrity cop Anna Polecatsky, he takes the blame for rampaging Labors, _and_ he can’t interfere in police investigations. Not to mention SV2 falls under the purview of one Bureau Chief Eli Buckminster – the ZPD’s top buck-passer-slash-credit-nabber.”

“So…” Judy’s nose wiggled as she stared blankly, “you’re saying Bogo’s here because he’s _too_ good a cop?!”

“In a nutshell!” Nick’s attention turned to his fishing rod, “Zootopia’s a funny place, Carrots! Things like the city’s Old Guards are what happens you put a bunch of businessmammals, career politicians, and other vested interests together in one _roo-o-o-o-o-m-!_ ”

The sound of whizzing greeted Ben’s ears and Nick struggled to contain the fishing pole in his paws. Nick looked about to fall into the bay when the cheetah grabbed the fox, and soon, they yanked an impressively sized cod out of the water.

“What _is_ it with you and the fish, fluff?!” groaned Nick, still in Clawhauser’s arms, “That makes three times you’ve come darkening my door, and each time I get a big bite like this!” Clawhauser set the fox down and pulled the fish in. “Are you some sort of fish whisperer?! Maybe I should stick you on the line and use you as bait!”

“Maybe I just have that magic touch of actually making you contribute something to SV2!” Judy smirked.

Nick gave a look of aggravation.

_[[OST1]](https://youtu.be/-SY70ORopyg) _

“Still… it _is_ weird…” Judy glanced at the cod as Clawhauser put it in the cooler beside Nick’s chair, “I did a bit of catch-and-release back in Bunnyburrow, and I never had _this_ kind of luck…”

“Oh yeah!” Clawhauser pounced on the opportunity to get Judy and Nick to understand each other better, “I’ve been meaning to ask, what’s it like there? In Bunnyburrow, I mean?”

“Oh, Bunnyburrow? Pretty… Well…” Judy sat down and rested her head on her knees, “Pretty boring to be honest… I mean, don’t get me wrong – it’s nice out there – I’d just rather have some excitement in my life.”

“ _Excitement_ would be an understatement, fluff – the way you stomp around the city.” Nick cast another hook into the bay.

Clawhauser burst in before Judy could sour the conversation with another rebuttal. It was like walking on eggshells with these two! “So what’s your family like?”

“Oh, we’re just farmers, mostly. We’ve done pretty well for ourselves, I’d say… Yeah, we bring in plenty of carrots, but we deal in a bunch of other stuff too, like potatoes, strawberries…”

“How ‘bout blueberries?” Nick piped up.

“Yeah. Why?”

“N-no reason…” Nick readjusted his sunglasses.

“Any brothers or sisters?”

Judy gave a sly grin. “Clawhauser, I’m a bunny. Is that a trick question?”

“Oh, uh…”

“Here!” Judy took out her phone and proceeded to enthusiastically introduce more siblings than Ben could count.

“Uh, Judy? How many siblings do you have?!”

“Oh, uh… 307…”

“Three-hundred-and-seven?!” Ben and Nick chorused.

“Oh, that’s communally!” Judy held up her hands, “Only twenty-five of them are actual blood siblings. The rest are mostly cousins – plus a few nieces and nephews.”

“Oh…” Ben still couldn’t imagine growing up with twenty-five brothers and sisters. “You’re one of the older kits, right?”

“Oh, yeah! Only five older than me!”

 _Only_ five?

“So you’ve got big sister rights?” Ben grinned, recalling growing up with his little brother.

“Oh, sure!” Judy chuckled, then rolled her eyes “Of course, Junior would beg to differ!”

“Junior?”

“Oh, Stu Jr.!” Judy showed her phone again, this time showing a rabbit about Judy’s age that looked eerily like a male version of Judy standing beside a Labor, “He’s the oldest boy. He likes to say he’s the buck of the house, even though six of us girls are technically older than he is!”

“Hang on, what’s that?” Nick seemed interested in the photo all of a sudden, “Is that a farming Labor?”

“Oh, yeah!” Judy shifted to a photo of an older male rabbit – Judy’s father – standing proudly with the Labor in the background. “That’s our Bumpacrop. My Dad got him about a year-and-a-half ago. I got experience working with Labors on him!”

The bipedal agricultural Labor was a mustard-yellow color, with long, spindly arms, large lights on top, and an open cockpit, beneath which the word “CHARLIE” could be made out. A grain platform hung from its abdomen.

“Charlie?” Nick raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, that’s the pet name my Dad gave him.”

“Awww!” Ben couldn’t help himself.

“Yeah, my Dad’s a sentimentalist.” Judy chuckled as she looked at the photo herself. “He tends to name things like tractors or combines, so naming a Labor was the next logical step.”

“Heh! Now I’m wondering what a good name for Unit 1 would be!” That’s it, Clawhauser. Focus on what binds them all together… “Big guy kinda looks like a Dennis, wouldn’t you say?”

“No…” Judy mused, “Not really seeing it. Gotta be more ‘fights-for-justice’ than that… Alphonse, maybe?”

“ _No!_ ”

Judy and Ben were both surprised by Nick’s sudden outburst. “I mean… it’s just that uh… I’ve had an… _acquaintance_ named Alphonse that I’ve had some bad dealings with in the past.”

“Well, what do _you_ think would be a good name?” Ben asked the fox.

“Mmmmm…” Nick rubbed his chin, “How ‘bout ‘Your Name Here’?”

Clawhauser giggled. Judy rolled her eyes. “Ha, ha…”

“How ‘bout ‘CAUTION: INCOMING BUNNY’?”

“Wilde, get serious!” Judy grumbled.

“Madam, we’re naming a hunk of metal.” Nick feigned being offended, “I wouldn’t _dream_ of making light of this!”

Bast almighty, this was turning out to be even harder than Ben had thought it’d be! Still, the cheetah saw an opportunity to get Nick to open up a bit more.

“C’mon, Nick!” Ben urged, “What do _you_ think’s a good name for a fighter for justice?”

“Well, Robin, maybe…” Nick muttered as he cast his attention back to his fishing pole.

“Why Robin?”

“Uh, forget I said anything!” Nick suddenly seemed tense.

“What, is something wrong?” said Ben, hoping he hadn’t stepped into territory that was _too_ personal.

“Eh, it’s just embarrassing, is all…” Nick sighed, “When I was a kit, I was _really_ into all those stories they told about Robin of Foxley…”

“Oh!”

“Yeah. My Mom got me hooked.” Nick grinned wistfully before languidly staring out onto the bay, “Apparently she was a Brian Redfurred fangirl back in the day. Anyway, yeah – that’s probably why ‘Robin’ popped into my mind…”

“Oh…”

There was a pregnant silence over the three officers for a while until Nick burst out laughing.

“Ah, it’s stupid!” the fox gave a pithy smirk as he took off his sunglasses, “I mean, naming a _cop_ Labor after an _outlaw_? Come on!”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that!” Judy smirked, “Going to all that trouble; stealing from the rich and giving to the poor? At least Robin of Foxley put a bit of effort into fighting for justice, fox or not!”

Nick’s eyes bulged for a split second, then the fox put his Wayfarers back on. “I guess you’re right…”

Judy and Ben glanced at one another. Had Nick just _agreed_ with her?!

They didn’t get the chance to press any further. Nick wound up hooking onto something big again.

“Okay, this has gotta be a piece of junk or something! I _never_ get this lucky twice!” Nick growled as Ben gave him a hand.

This time it proved to be particularly tricky. Judy wound up getting involved as well, and the three officers held on tight as Nick reeled it in.

The object that came out of the water was indeed an old hubcap, but the three policemammals were left slack-jawed at the rather large octopus that had the hubcap in its clutches.

“What the fuzz?!” Nick gaped.

* * *

The three had been debating what to do with the octopus when it had squirted ink in Nick and Judy’s faces the moment Nick mentioned calamari, and the unruly cephalopod made its getaway in the confusion.

Ben was wandering back into the hangar, wondering what to do with this new information when a voice came from behind him that sent a shiver down the cheetah's spine.

“Benjamin Clawhauser, you’re a mad genius!”

* * *

When Nick finally got the ink off his face and made it back to Ready Room 2, where Judy (whose face had taken less ink) and Ben were already seated, the first thing he heard was an announcement over the station’s PA system by Chief Mechanic Camazotz.

“Now hear this, ya bums! Since things have been getting _messy_ of late, I’m instituting a new policy! I’ve spoken with Captain Polecatsky and Captain Bogo, and they’ve agreed that from now on, Zeeplabor Forwards and Backups are to take over for the mechanics when it comes to Labor cleaning and repainting!”

“WHAT?!” chorused several voices in the Ready Room, but their voices were drowned out by the cheers coming from the army of mechanics.

Nick groaned. Once again, the universe had it out for him.

* * *

_[[OST2]](https://youtu.be/uJMP_HXsOlE) _

At the end of the (mercifully deployment-less) day, Nick made his way out of the hangar. His eyes chanced to glance up at Unit 1, which (thankfully) had been cleared of mud by the time the “Animazon Rule” (as it came to be known) came into effect.

Nick noticed something new on the Ingrowl’s upper torso.

The fox stared in disbelief before continuing on his way.

“Dumb bunny…!”

On the machine’s torso's left-hand side, below the head, between the machine’s primary and secondary cockpit hatches, the word “Robin” had been painted in a brush font.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and now the title of this 'episode' makes sense at last! "Robin of Foxley" is - as you've probably guessed - the Zootopian equivalent of Robin of Loxley, aka. Robin Hood. In all honesty, I'm surprised no one's made that pun already!
> 
> Similarly, Brian Redfurred is a reference to the late Brian Bedford, Robin Hood's voice actor in the 1973 Disney movie.
> 
>    
>  **BACKGROUND MUSIC:**
> 
> 1) Kenji Kawai - "Noa's Repose" ("Noa no Hitorigoto") - from the _Patlabor - The Mobile Police_ TV series (I think)
> 
> 2) Kenji Kawai - "Knock on the Tomorrow II" - from the _Patlabor - the Mobile Police_ TV series


	9. Robin of Foxley - Part V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The newly christened "Robin" gets a good washing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to keep you guys waiting!

Judy still felt a little aggravated following the enactment of the Animazon Rule. As a result, she found it even harder to get out of bed the following morning.

She'd tried watching a favorite movie on her phone to cheer her up. After watching it though, she made the mistake of seeing what Preddit had to say about the movie. There, she found a post that pointed out some severe character development flaws and she felt the enjoyment slipping away from her again.

Something about her just felt… _empty_. Sure, she tended to charge in ahead, but that was just it – if she didn't do that, she'd never do anything. Judy had always been afraid that if she slowed down in her pursuit of her dream, even for a moment, she'd never get moving again. "The Centipede's Dilemma," they called it. If Judy stopped to think about _how_ she did her job, she'd never be able to actually _do_ it.

Ah, Frith… Hopefully she wasn't running into the Centipede's Dilemma right now by thinking about recent events…!

Judy had already made it to the base when a voice caught her from above.

"And where do you think _you're_ going?"

The sound of leather wings greeted Judy's long ears as SV2's Chief Mechanic fluttered down in front of her. To Judy's surprise, Lucy Camazotz was… smiling?

This was not good.

"Um… I'm going to the Ready Room?" said Judy. "I'm on duty?"

"Don't you have some… _cleaning_ to do?" the sharp-toothed grin grew wider and wider. Frith almighty, bats had terrifying grins! Judy hated to imagine what look she had behind those aviator's sunglasses!

"Um, Unit 1's already clean…" Judy glanced over at Unit 1 – alias Robin. It certainly _looked_  like all the Animazon River mud had been cleared off of the Ingrowl.

"Yeah, we got _most_ of it off, but just like with us mammals, Labors always have those hard-to-reach places! I figured a couple of shorties like you and bottlebrush-butt- ah, speak of the devil!"

The bat's attention had turned to Nick Wilde, who was sauntering into the hangar.

"Get over here, Wilde!" Camazotz's grin grew even wider, if that was even possible. "I was just reminding your partner here that you two have some work to do in your Labor's hard-to-reach areas! Joanna!"

Joanna Namakoro walked up with a grin on her face that matched her bat superior's. The hyena handed Judy a hosepipe and Wilde a bottle of vehicle shampoo.

"And who knows?" Camazotz continued. "Maybe us techs missed a spot or two elsewhere? Best get that entire thing scrubbed down to be sure!"

"Let me get this straight…" Wilde pinched the bridge of his muzzle. "You want the two of us to wash down an eight-meter Ingrowl that you've already hosed off?!"

"Yes!" You'd think that bat's grin would split her head open at this rate.

Judy was 'encouraged' enough to do it. Wilde seemed to have more guts though. "You know, _technically_ you aren't in our direct line of command, so I don't think-"

Camazotz's grin vanished in a heartbeat as she lifted a wing to adjust her sunglasses so that the glare from them shone directly in Wilde's face.

"Wh-where do we start?" Wilde stammered.

* * *

_[[OST1]](https://youtu.be/A3xgU1UTUx0) _

"So… how do we do this?" Wilde groaned, looking up at the massive form of Unit 1.

"Well, we could start from the feet and work our way up…" Judy murmured.

"Nah!" Wilde shook his head. "I say we go from the top down."

"What's the difference?" Judy's nose began to twitch in annoyance.

"Well, I figure if we do the top down, some of the stuff will drip down and do half the work for us!"

"It doesn't work like that!" Judy's foot started to stamp.

"Okay then…" Wilde sighed and took a coin out of his pocket, "Heads we do the top down, tails the feet up."

Before Judy could react, Wilde had already flipped the coin. The fox tried to catch it in his paw, but knocked it up into the air by accident. The coin then fell right into the front of Judy's vest, lodging between the vest and the bunny doe's fur.

Wilde's head tilted. "That… has never happened before…"

* * *

Because the coin had landed with 'heads' facing outward, it was decided that they'd wash from the head down. Now they stood atop one of the maintenance platforms, at eye level with the Ingrowl.

"So…" Wilde murmured, "Who does the actual hosing?"

" _I_ will." Judy just grabbed the hose from Wilde and began pulling the trigger on the hose's sprayer fitting. The fitting was big cat-sized, so Judy had to use two hands to hold it. But only a trickle of water came out.

"Is this thing jammed?!" Judy grumbled, batting the fitting.

Wilde was clambered down the ladder to where the hose connected to the building's water supply.

There, he noticed that the tap hadn't been turned all the way, so he nonchalantly turned up the pressure.

Up above him, he heard a cry come from Judy. He ran back out to see the rabbit was thoroughly soaked, and trying to wrangle a writhing hose.

Nick laughed; he couldn't help himself.

The vulpine soon regretted this, for he soon saw the drenched rabbit point the nozzle in his direction...

* * *

After hosing down 'Robin,' the next step was applying the vehicle shampoo.

"You can count yourself lucky your tail's so short." Wilde grumbled, still feeling a little damp as the two officers applied shampoo to Unit 1's chest. "It takes a lot to dry out a fox tail!"

"Well, maybe you should just quit the force now and spare us the whining." Judy muttered.

"Oh, I would if I could…!" Wilde grumbled.

"'If you could'…?" Judy was puzzled. "Why can't you?"

"Blame _Robin_ here…!" Wilde explained.

"Robin?"

"Yeah." said Nick, "I mean look at it this way; Robin's a top-of-the-line Labor. Bogo even called the Ingrowls 'not-quite-prototypes'. My job _requires_ me to have an in-depth knowledge of how the big guy works, right?"

"Uh-huh…?"

"So how would it look for me – a stereotypically untrustworthy species – to suddenly quit so soon after my Division forms, but after I've already seen how the machine ticks?"

"I'm… not sure what you're getting at…"

"Two words, Carrots: _industrial espionage_." Wilde gave a pointed gesture toward Judy. "Even if the ZPD didn't raise an eyebrow at my leaving, Inaba would probably think I was selling what I'd learned about the Ingrowl to a rival company."

Judy was flabbergasted. "Isn't that a little… paranoid?"

"A little paranoia is a good thing to have in this world – especially when it comes to Labor-makers. Did you know that Megafauna Enterprises practically has its own private police force to protect company assets?"

"Oh, come on!" Judy chuckled, "Now you're pulling my leg!"

"Oh, it's real!" Wilde's attention focused on the section of Unit 1's abdomen he was scrubbing. "I've heard a bunch about what they use some of their fancy-pants Growl-Bears for. I.H.I.'s not _as_ uptight about company secrets as Megafauna, but I'm not taking any chances."

"So you think it's easier to just get kicked off the force?" Judy couldn't believe her ears.

"Pretty much!" Wilde gave that disarming smirk, "That way, I have a reason for leaving the force that I.H.I. could believe!"

_[[OST2]](https://youtu.be/GJNQMbVdp0g) _

A realization came to Judy as a smug look burst across her muzzle. "Well, you'd have to get kicked off the force first…"

Wilde caught onto Judy's sudden burst of smugness. "May we share the joke?"

"If you didn't want to do your job, then why'd you talk down that pine marten?"

Wilde stopped scrubbing.

"I mean, why'd you stick your neck out for me and that pine marten back in Animazon River Park if you just wanted to get out?"

Wilde seemed to have frozen stiff.

Judy went in for the kill. "If I'm bad at doing my job, I'd say you're doing an even _worse_ job of _not_ not doing it!"

"I…!" Wilde was utterly lost for words – and Judy was enjoying every minute of it. But the fox managed to collect himself before Judy could hammer things in further. "I'd say we're done with this section. Let's keep going lower."

* * *

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Judy yelled as she switched off her leaf blower.

Wilde switched off his own leaf blower so Judy could hear him. "I said, they oughta have an automatic Labor-washer – you know, like they do with cars!"

"Heh. That'd help!" Judy mused.

"Mind you, the city's too cheap for it…"

"Do you have anything _good_ to say about this city?" Judy groaned.

"Well, Coop's Burgas are the best in the world – no city can top that!"

"See! There's something!" said Judy, expression brightening.

"Though ol' Coop ain't getting any younger. Dunno what'll happen when he retires…" Wilde switched his leafblower back on and resumed drying the Labor.

"You must be a riot at parties!" Judy muttered under her breath as she turned on her own blower.

* * *

"Carrots, is it me, or have we not found _any dirt_ on Robin – even in the hard-to-reach places?" Wilde raised an eyebrow as he peered around the front of Unit 1's head to where Judy was waxing the other side.

"Hey, that's right!" Judy realized. "So all this time, Camazotz was… _Oooogh!_ "

"Gotta hand it to her, that bat had _me_ going!" Wilde murmured, "She'd make a good salesmammal – 'Buy my product – or I'll kill you in your sleep'!"

"I shouldn't wonder!" Judy groaned, "So are you going to say something to her about it?"

"Me? _Oh_ no!" Wilde shook his head. "Forwards get the risky stuff – and they have to listen to the command car, so _you_ do it!"

"Um… We get the risky stuff when we're in Labors, remember?!" Judy seethed.

"Good point." Wilde remarked. "So why don't you confront her about it while you're inside Robin?"

Judy imagined herself, at Unit 1's controls, talking down to Camazotz through the giant Labor. For the first time, she found herself laughing at one of Wilde's jokes.

* * *

What they didn't know was that the subject of their conversation was listening in on them from near the door to the offices.

 _Please_ , Lucy Camazotz thought, grinning to herself. She knew those Ingrowls like the back of her wing. She'd find a way inside the cockpit before Hopps could get a word in edgewise.

* * *

"You did good!" remarked Earl Beaverbrook as he looked up at where Hopps and Wilde were still cleaning off Unit 1.

"Aw, I didn't really do all that much…" Benjamin Clawhauser murmured as he glanced around the corner of the warehouse door at the two, "All I did was talk to them!"

"Well, they were at each other's throats yesterday." Beaverbrook chewed on one of his popsicle stick in thought. "Now look at 'em! I'd call that progress! I mean, you got _Wilde_ to open up! I didn't think anyone could get to _his_ creamy filling!"

"Creamy filling?"

"You know – hard on the outside, soft and creamy on the inside? He's like a cannoli!"

"Cannoli? Wait- how'd you figure Nick was like that?"

"Uh- Wild guess!" The popsicle stick plopped out of the beaver's mouth. "Heh-heh… _Wilde_ guess?" Beaverbrook edged away from the portly cheetah, chuckling nervously at his own unintentional pun. "I think I might see how Lee and Hylander are doing. See ya!"

Clawhauser stared after the departing beaver in confusion. What was up with _him_?!

Either way, Ben felt better now that Hopps and Wilde getting along better. It always felt better seeing everyone get along.

Still, he couldn't rest easy yet. He had to make sure this friendliness would last!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **BACKGROUND MUSIC:**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> 1) Toshihiko Sahashi - "Nature" - from _The Big O_
> 
> 2) Micheal Giacchino - "Foxy Fakeout" - from _Zootopia_


	10. Robin of Foxley - Part VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter's rushed. I was in a hurry to get it up today because you see, this day, August 10, 2018, marks...
> 
> (cue drumroll)
> 
>  
> 
> **HAPPY 30th ANNIVERSARY, _PATLABOR_!**
> 
>  
> 
> So yeah! I figured I had to get the lead out so that I could upload this chapter today!
> 
> It's particularly notable because a new show, _Patlabor EZY_ , may be on the cards for the future! A producer has been announced, but there's a lot of details missing. More may come in future though!
> 
> In any case, it may prove to be a good time to get into _Patlabor_!

"Well, I'm not sure what happened," Captain Bogo remarked as he idly drummed his hoof-fingers against his desk. "But I'll admit, Hopps and Wilde don't look like they're set to murder each other anymore."

"I told you Clawhauser was an asset!" purred Captain Polecatsky. "He was practically SV2's resident therapist when he was under me!"

"Well, I'm not sure this situation will last." Bogo stared at the ceiling. "Things can break down rapidly on the beat – and I don't like playing mind games with my officers."

"Well, that was on Lucy, not Clawhauser," said Polecatsky. "Still, you really think it could be that bad?"

"I'm not one to take chances," Bogo remarked. "What's more, Lucy's main concern is the Labors; she may not be as adept at working with their pilots."

The Cape buffalo sighed and glanced out the window at the bay. "Still, I could see someone like Clawhauser being useful at a regular precinct. I can get a handle on _him_ at least."

"You miss being out there, don't you?" said Polecatsky, with a hint of concern.

"At least in a regular precinct, I'd have some idea of what I was doing!" Bogo muttered.

"You've handled your mammals well enough, given the givens," the skunk assured Bogo. "And it's not like I don't feel out of place either."

The cape buffalo turned to the skunk. "Oh?"

"I was pretty much press-ganged into the ZPD." Polecatsky began stroking her long tail in thought. "It's been a few years, but I still feel like I don't quite fit in. I sometimes think I'm lucky this isn't a real precinct. Quentin caught Lorna – my eldest – watching a cop show past her bedtime a week ago. Now she keeps asking me things about police procedure that I can't wrap my head around!"

"Hmph!" Bogo gave a pithy snort. "Your daughter's lucky there aren’tany TV shows about Zeeplabor divisions yet. They'd probably bastardize it to hell and back!"

"The point is, I'm glad you're here, Adrian." Polecatsky glanced at her fellow Captain. "I feel like I'm learning more about actual policework just by watching you."

"Thanks for the compliment," Bogo sighed. "But if there's one lesson I've learned from regular precincts, it's that the headaches never end."

* * *

Judy wasn't sure if the deployment-less day she'd had yesterday was a curse or a blessing. She wasn't talking with Joanna as much (the turncoat!) but Clawhauser had been more than willing to chat with the rabbit while on standby.

The cheetah's verbal intervention had been a godsend for a dull day. Even Lieutenant Marvin Sanderson and Officer Wanda Hickory of Division 1 had popped in briefly to join the conversation yesterday. Somehow, Judy had gotten the impression that the sand cat and the grey squirrel had been there just for Clawhauser – which made sense, given that Clawhauser had once been a teammate of theirs.

Judy had tried asking Sanderson for some tips on piloting, but her brief chat with the Lieutenant had quickly shifted to the topic of the Ingrowls and how much better they were compared to Division 1's CPL-97S Pythons.

"Our old Pythons just don't stack up now that you've got those things," the sand cat had sighed. "You don't know how lucky you are, rabbit!"

Judy had tried not to look offended at the idea that her piloting ability was tied to the quality of her Labor. For some reason, it reminded her of what Lee had said.

Now that Judy thought of it, she hadn't seen that opossum anywhere during that little get-together. Lee rarely seemed to interact with the other officers of SV2, yet that sycophant Hylander followed her around like a duckling after its mother! What _was_ it with Lee and her oh-I'm-too-cool-and-aloof-yet-I-know-everything act?! She was almost as bad as Wilde!

This was why Judy was surprised to find Wilde wiping down the monitors inside Robin's cockpit the next day.

"What are _you_ doing here?!" the fox and the rabbit chorused, each startled by the other.

"Aren't you usually fishing or finding some other way of shirking work by now?" Judy raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, I'm not taking any chances with Camazotz looming large," Wilde explained. "Plus, seeing as she's in charge of maintaining this bucket's vital systems, I'd rather keep her happy."

"I know I've said this before," said Judy. "But aren't you being a bit paranoid?"

"Yeah well, I've got a marathon to catch tonight. I don't want to give Camazotz an excuse to keep me here too long!" Wilde turned to face Judy. "Besides, if _I'm_ paranoid, then why are you holding those?"

Judy's eyes nervously travelled to the sponge and soap-water bucket in her hands. "I-I just want to put a bit more TLC into Robin, that's all!" she protested. "Might as well keep him looking good!"

"Heh! Nuts to the stun stick and gun!" Wilde chuckled, sitting down in the pilot's chair. "By the time you're through with Robin, he'd be so shiny that he'd blind all those Labor criminals into submission!"

"Something like that…" Judy grinned, looking up at the Ingrowl's impassive face. "I figure when everyone sees how well-kept he is, they'll know better than to mess with him!"

Just then, alarm bells began to ring.

_"Attention please! Attention please! We have multiple 10-51Ls in the Docklands. Division 2 is to mobilize immediately!"_

* * *

_"Ten-fifty-one-L…"_ Beaverbrook's voice came over the radio. _"That's… large intoxicated mammals, right?"_

 _"Good work, Beaverbrook!"_ chuckled Hylander's voice, _"We'll make an officer of you yet!"_

Judy rolled her eyes at Hylander's patronizing tone.

 _"Elephants to be exact…"_ Bogo grumbled. _"Three drunken elephants that got laid off a paint factory and now are taking their aggressions out on their former workplace._ _Now remember, these aren't Labor criminals you're dealing with this time, so we're packing tranq pellets, not bullets. But even so, you are to prioritize de-escalation. And_ yes _, Wilde; that means you can put that big muzzle of yours to some use. Just_ try _and stay_ behind _Unit 1 this_ _time! Can't risk you getting crushed!"_

 _How about that?_ Judy thought. Now Wilde was actually endearing himself to Bogo!

The Captain wasn't finished. _"I repeat: use minimal force! This paint factory contains flammable chemicals. I don't want so much as a spark to come off of those Labors!"_

* * *

The Docklands took up the westmost portion of Savanna Central. Despite Zootopia's gradual shift away from a service-based economy, there was still a sizable industrial park in the area where this paint factory lay.

Once they had arrived, the carrier payloads were raised, but Captain Bogo ordered Unit 2 to move in while Unit 1 stayed behind.

"Why, chief?!" Judy squeaked.

 _"Like I said, the chemicals in there are hazardous. The fewer Labors in there, the better."_ Bogo radioed from his slick-top cruiser. _"Unit 1 will remain on standby outside."_

 _"Sorry, Hopps!"_ said Hylander as Unit 2 moved into the wide open doors of the paint factory, with Lee's command car situating itself just outside.

 _"So now what?"_ said Clawhauser.

 _"Cap'n said to stand by, so I guess we just… stand by…"_ said Wilde. _"I hope Hylander makes this quick. I've got my marathon to get to!"_

 _"Marathon?"_ said Clawhauser, who then gasped. _"Oh-em-goodness! Are you a_ Doctor Time _fan_ _?!"_

 _"Wh-what?!"_ said Wilde.

 _"It's the only big marathon on tonight!"_ Clawhauser giggled.  _"I thought I was the only one here! Hey, Judy! D'you watch it?"_

"Uh, _Doctor Time_? No…" Judy didn't watch much TV to begin with. Still, the idea of Wilde as a sci-fi buff made her grin inside.

The sound of Nick's head hitting his car's steering wheel came through Judy's systems. _"Uh… could we change the subj-"_

 _"I'd watch it too but I've got all the DVDs so I didn't bother."_ Clawhauser obviously hadn't heard Wilde's false start. _"We should get together and watch it sometime!"_

 _"Uh… sure…?"_ Wilde sounded unsure.

Judy wasn't sure whether to butt in or not. She had not prepared herself for this kind of situation. She'd seen the odd cop show that featured a stakeout scene. Was this the rough equivalent for a Zeeplabor Division? She wished Sanderson and Hickory had given her more practical information.

In the end, it was Captain Bogo who butted in. _"Enthralling as this conversation is, could you_ please _keep the lines open?!_ "

Naturally it was just then that Judy had a question for Wilde. She then raised her cockpit so that her head poked out of Robin's top hatch, right below the Ingrowl's neck.

Below her, Wilde was leaning out of the open top hatch of his command car.

"Hey, Wilde!" she shouted down at the fox. "Why'd you become a cop in the first place? You never told us that!"

Wilde seemed caught off-guard at the question as he stared up at Judy.

"I…" Pretty soon, the fox's usual smug look returned. "I had Labor certification already, and I guess one day I got dropped on my head and I figured, 'why not'? Second-worst mistake of my life...'"

Before Judy could ask anything more, Bogo's voice buzzed through their comms systems. _"We've just had reports of a fourth drunken elephant making his way through the other side of the factory. Unit 1, move in."_

"Yes, sir!" Judy giddily made Robin step off the trailer and dash toward the large doors at the other end of the plant.

 _"Whoa, hey! Carrots!"_ Wilde's voice suddenly broke in through her comlink. _"Remember what Bogo said! We gotta be careful!"_

"Well, what _should_ we do?!" Judy said.

 _"Look, just… try talking him down_ before  _going crazy, okay?"_

"Wait, you want _me_ to talk to him?"

_"Well, why not?"_

When they pulled up to other side of the factory, an elephant was just sitting back against a large vat that Judy assumed contained paint.

"Uh, hi...?" Judy greeted, glancing at the elephant.

On closer inspection, the pachyderm's eyes were closed, and he was audibly snoring.

"In a stupor!" said Wilde, poking his head out of the command car and staring at the giant mammal in disbelief.

"What do we do now?" Judy murmured. "We can't just leave him here!"

"You could try carrying him out…" said Wilde.

"Okay… here goes…!"

Robin reached for the elephant's arm, preparing to hoist him over its shoulder. To Judy's surprise, the pachyderm suddenly pulled her in tightly and began grappling with her. She had to retract Unit 1's cockpit, as the stench of cheap whiskey emanated from under the elephant's trunk.

"Ah, Roxanne!" the elephant murmured without opening his eyes as he tightly wrapped his arms and trunk around the Ingrowl. "I knew y'd come back! Firsht they lay me off, then the Shlammers blow the sheason, I needed you sho bad!"

Wilde began chuckling, in spite of himself.

"This isn't funny, Wilde!" Judy groaned as she tried to wrangle the Zeeplabor free. "How do I get him off me?!"

"Uh, Captain…?" Wilde chuckled into his comms system. "Suspect has fallen asleep, but is lucid enough to cuddle Unit 1 like a stuffed toy. How do we proceed, over?"

 _"Wilde… Please tell me I misheard that."_ Bogo groaned, _"Did you just tell me that the elephant in question is cuddling Unit 1 like a stuffed toy?"_

"Well, I was gonna say sex doll, but I thought that'd be unprofessional."

 _"Wilde…!"_ the cape buffalo growled.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash as the wall on the opposite side of the plant collapsed.

There, stepping through the rubble was an Ushii Bullfrog, painted a bright yellow.

An off-key voice sang through the newcomer's loudspeakers. " _Heeeeeere I come to save the_ (HIC!) _– DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"_

Wilde groaned as he buried his head in his hands. "Oh, brother!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **SPECIES NAMES AND EXPLANATIONS:**
> 
>  
> 
> Marvin Sanderson: Sand Cat ( _Felis margarita_ )
> 
> Wanda Hickory: Prevost's Squirrel ( _Callosciurus prevostii_ )


	11. Robin of Foxley - Part VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! Sorry to keep you waiting!
> 
> Just a heads-up that there's an **important announcement** at the end of this chapter!

_[[OST1]](https://youtu.be/bUJlYktejmw) _

"I'll show thosh maniacsh in the ZPD how to _really_ take 'em down!" slurred the genet piloting the incoming Bullfrog.

"Captain, we have a problem." Wilde said into his receiver.

 _"What now?!"_ growled Bogo.

"We've got a wannabe vigilante in a Bullfrog here. Ten-to-one he's DWI."

"What is it with drunks today?!" groaned Judy, just managing to pull herself free from the inebriated elephant.

"We're in the middle of a heat wave, City Hall's announced a tax hike, and the Slammers are blowing their postseason chances like there's no tomorrow," Nick semi-seriously explained as he lowered himself back into his car and reversed it out of the Bullfrog's path. "Everyone's drowning their sorrows!"

"It'sh okay, Roxanne!" The elephant suddenly got up and put himself before between Robin and the interloper. "I'll protect you!"

"Sir, please!" Judy tried to reason through her loudspeakers while pulling the elephant back. "Gimme a hand here!" she said to Wilde.

"Uh... Uh... Uh…" Wilde glanced nervously from the Bullfrog to the elephant and back. "Can't we both just talk about this?" he finally said into his car's loudspeakers.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" the Bullfrog's pilot suddenly charged for the elephant. Robin quickly threw the pachyderm down behind it and grabbed the punch that the renegade Labor threw.

"Roxanne!" The elephant suddenly tried to charge around Robin, but the taller Ingrowl swung its left arm around and gave him a stiff-arm, still holding the Bullfrog's arm with its right hand.

"Wilde…!" Judy growled as she tried to hold the two inebriated combatants apart.

Nick frantically looked between the two. He wasn't sure how to deal with two drunken nutjobs at once! "C-can I ask you both to just settle down?"

"Fergeddit!" yelled the genet.

"Yeah- _hic!_ " growled the elephant.

Nick facepalmed before talking into his radio. "Captain, if you wanna send backup, now's the time!"

 _"Can't,"_ said Bogo. _"Hylander has his hands full as it is and Division 1's off duty."_

The Bullfrog tried grabbing at Unit 1 with its free arm and pulling it down. However, the elephant grabbed hold of Robin with his trunk and wound up pushing Robin onto the Bullfrog, knocking both down like dominoes.

"Shorry, Roxanne!" said the elephant as he groggily stood up.

" _I'm not Roxanne!_ " Judy snapped as she quickly made Unit 1 stand up.

"Carrots!" Wilde yelled into his comms system. "You can tranq him now!"

"Okay!" Unit 1 pulled out the pellet gun and was about to aim it at the elephant when all of a sudden, the Ingrowl fell over as the Bullfrog pulled Unit 1's leg back.

This caused Robin's leg to abruptly kick upward and catch the elephant in the chin. The pachyderm stumbled backward, right into the side of one of the paint vats, knocking him unconscious.

"Well… one down, one to go…" said Wilde, poking his head out of the command car's hatch before switching on his loudspeakers. "Okay, come on, buddy! Let's just _talk_ about this!"

"Nuh-uh!" said the genet, "You guysh are wrecking the plashe up ash bad ash he ish! I'll show you! I'll show you _all!_ "

* * *

"Can I just get you to- _gah!_ Calm down, _please_!" Howard Hylander groaned as he made Unit 2 dodge paint cans being thrown by the unruly elephants he had been sent to pacify.

"I repeat!" Lee yelled through her command car's loudspeakers. "If you do not settle down _immediately_ , we will have to use force!"

"Shaddup!" yelled one of the pachyderms, hurling a pipe at the Ingrowl, knocking its tranq gun out of its hand.

The opossum groaned. They'd managed to tranq one of the elephants, but the remaining two were putting up a fierce fight.

"Right! It seems I'll have to be _rude_!" Hylander growled as he pulled out his stun-stick and advanced on the elephants.

"Hylander, no!" Lee hollered.

Ten seconds later, Unit 2 was flat on its front as one of the elephants began banging its hands on it like he was playing the bongos. Lee winced at the scratches and dents being left on the Ingrowl. It was just painful to watch...

Lee banged her head against the roof of her car. What had she done to deserve this?!

* * *

"I'll show _you_!" the genet yelled as the Bullfrog threw a punch.

Judy dodged. "You're just making things worse!" she exclaimed through her loudspeakers.

"Listen to the bunny!" said Nick through his.

" _Shaddap, fox!_ Why won't anyone take me sherioushly?!" the genet roared, delivering a blow to Robin's chest-mounted bull-bars.

"Stop or I'll shoot!" Judy yelled, pointing her tranq gun at the Labor.

"Carrots, it only shoots tranq pellets!" said Nick, having forgotten to turn off his loudspeakers.

Judy brought her palm to her head in aggravation. "He didn't know that, Wilde!"

"Oh…" Now Nick felt stupid - very stupid.

"YOU THINK I'M STUPID DO YA?! YOU THINK I'M STUPID?!" roared the progressively angered genet.

Judy backed Robin away from the Bullfrog. " _Now_ what are we supposed to do?!"

"Paint vat! Paint vat!" Nick snapped into his receiver. Judy responded by taking a step forward, away from the vat of paint behind her.

While she was distracted, the Bullfrog tackled the Ingrowl into the side of the vat, punching her repeatedly until the vat ruptured, sending a cascade of magenta paint flowing onto the Zeeplabor. Judy abruptly pushed herself upright. The surprised genet pulled the bullfrog back, causing it to stumble into another vat, knocking down a pipe and causing a jet of florescent green paint to gush in Robin's direction.

"I KNOW WHAT I'M DOIN'!" the genet yelled, hurling a palette full of plastic paint buckets at the Labor. Judy raised her shield, but wasn't quite fast enough to prevent the buckets from rupturing against it, sending a wave of bright orange cascading her way.

Nick was forced to close his command car's hatch to shield himself from the multicolored deluge.

Once the fox was sure the paintstorm had subsided, he noticed that his live feed from Robin's main camera was showing a blank screen on his dashboard-mounted monitor. Some of the paint must have covered it up.

Nick cautiously peered out the top hatch of his command car and took in the sight of the Ingrowl, which now looked like it had been redecorated by Jackson Pawlock. Bright orange covered the machine's face and left arm. Bright pink covered the back and right arm. Bright green covered the legs. The chest contained a mixture of the colors.

Nick gawked in disbelief at the spectacle as Judy raised her cockpit out of the upper hatch so she could see properly.

Silently, they took in the splattered Labor, realizing with dread that they would be charged with repainting it.

"You just painted my Robin…" Judy hissed through the machine's loudspeakers. "You just painted my Robin…!"

"Farewell sweet marathon," Nick muttered darkly. "May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."

Nick spoke into his receiver. "Carrots, if we want to get out of painting duty at a less ungodly hour, you're gonna have to lure this guy out of here."

"Okay, how?"

"Carrots, you're a small annoying creature."

"Hey!"

"Right now that's a compliment. This guy's got major anger issues. _Use that_."

_[[OST2]](https://youtu.be/YxLf-Izp36U) _

"Okay…" Judy positioned the paint-spattered Unit 1 between the Bullfrog and the door, putting as much distance between them as she could.

"What're ya doin' now?!" yelled the genet.

"You know, you _really_ aren't helping your case right now." Judy made sure her loudspeakers were on. "If _we're_ maniacs, what does that make you?"

" _Shaddap!_ " yelled the genet as the Bullfrog surged forward.

Judy pulled back. Luckily for her, the Ingrowl was the faster runner, so the Bullfrog just swiped at thin air.

By now, Judy was at the massive doors that led out into the paint factory's parking lot.

"You can't say that to me!" the genet yelled. "You can't point the finger at me for this!"

Just then, an idea occurred to Judy, and she activated the Ingrowl's virtual reality gloves, slipping her hand into one of them. These control systems were meant to assist in delicate operations, but 'delicate' was not what Judy had in mind this time...

"I've only got _one_ finger for you!" Judy crowed, raising the machine's middle finger and hoping beyond hope that word of this never reached her mother.

"WHY YOUUUUUUUUUU!" the Bullfrog charged forward. Robin sidestepped the drunk's machine yet again, and it tumbled into the parking lot. Judy quickly placed herself between the enemy Labor and the factory doors, so that the genet couldn't head back into the factory.

Then, Judy charged the Bullfrog, grappling with it and pushing it even further form the factory.

"That's it! That's it! You've got it!" said Nick, driving out of the factory.

The Bullfrog drew back and charged again, throwing a punch. Judy dodged and jammed Robin's elbow into the Bullfrog's abdomen, causing it to stumble.

"No, wait! Wait for a good hit!" barked Nick. "Just keep him swinging until you can stick 'im! Try and get him to turn his back on you!"

Judy obliged, keeping Robin close enough to entice the genet into throwing punches, yet distant enough that she could dodge them with ease.

"Yes! Yes! You got it!" Nick laughed triumphantly at the Bullfrog's drunken swings and how they failed to connect. "Pretty little bunny ballerina!"

"I resent that- _ah!_ "

The genet had taken advantage of Judy's brief distraction and plowed into Robin, knocking the Zeeplabor down.

Judy reacted quickly though, pulling out her tranq gun and firing two shots at the cockpit. She knew that the pellets wouldn't damage the labor, but seeing the pale green pellets splatter over the windshield showed that her gambit had worked.

"Clever!" Nick muttered. Now the genet was blinded, giving Judy enough time to bring Robin back to its feet.

"You stupid-" The Bullfrog's airplane-like canopy opened up, but by that time, Unit 1 had swung around to the rear of the opposing Labor and pulled out its stun-stick.

"That's it! Stick 'im!" Nick urged ecstatically.

The genet tried to swivel around to deliver another blow, but it was too late; Judy had embedded the baton deep into the Bullfrog's back. Smoke started to emit from its batteries, and Robin pushed the enemy machine to the ground.

"I did it…" Judy murmured. "I actually did it!"

Nick ran over to the cockpit and pulled out the inebriated Genet, who was grappling at the controls to no avail. "You…" the fox panted, "are under… arrest!"

"Cuffed by a frazzin' fox…" the genet hissed.

After escorting the genet to his command car, Nick sighed in relief. "It's over… It's finally over…"

 _"What's going on there?!"_ Bogo's voice came over the radio.

"Captain…" Judy panted, triumph edging into her voice. "Both the elephant and the rogue Labor are down for the count. The Bullfrog's pilot is now in my custody and the elephant's been knocked out."

 _"Good work."_ Bogo's voice was dissonantly mirthless. _"Lee reports that all three elephants in the other wing of the factory have been tranquilized. Bring your elephant out of there in case he needs medical treatment, then help Hylander bring his out. Has your machine taken any damage?"_

Judy and Nick looked over Robin's multicolored, splattered exterior. "J-just cosmetic, sir…" Judy muttered.

_"I see… You can discuss matters with Chief Mechanic Camazotz when we get back to SV2."_

Nick and Judy groaned.

* * *

_[[OST3]](https://youtu.be/3NrkVit-cF8) _

From the roof of a warehouse a safe distance away from the paint factory, a markhor had been observing the skirmish. Now, he took his hooves off his high-spec video camera, and called a number on his cell phone.

"Hello, Mr. Bright? It's Screwney. I've just taken some of that footage you requested. So far I've obtained footage of ZPD Unit 222 entering the factory, and Unit 221 engaging and disabling a Bullfrog just outside it. Any more requests?"

 _"Try and get some of them returning to their carriers,"_ came a soft-spoken, educated voice on the other end. _"Not sure what I can do with that, but better safe than sorry. Have you identified the pilots' species?"_

"Only 221's. It's a rabbit – maybe a hare."

 _"Really now! I was expecting a predator!"_ Mr. Bright seemed pleasantly surprised at this revelation. _"Just get that footage of them returning to the trailers - try and get some footage of both Labors' pilots so we can make a better guess as to their species. then come back and give me the footage. You'll receive the rest of your pay then."_

* * *

_[[OST4]](https://youtu.be/Prt417Z136M) _

"So, uh… Captain?"

"Yes, Clawhauser?" Bogo walked up to the cheetah, who was now leaning against the side of his Labor-carrier, glancing up at Unit 1.

"D'you think those two are better now?"

"Hard to say…" Bogo sighed. "Like I always say, the headaches never end."

"Oh…" Clawhauser seemed despondent.

"Ah, don't sweat it!" Lucy Camazotz suddenly fluttered down on top of the carrier's roof. "What the Captain's saying is that Zootopia wasn't built in a day. It's just a matter of moving forward, and those two seem to be doing it nicely."

"That's one way of looking at it…" said Bogo. "I suspect that this won't be the biggest headache I'll have to deal with at least…"

The buffalo looked up to where Nick and Judy were applying a new coat of paint to Robin.

"I mean, the nerve of that genet!" grumbled Judy, taking a quick break from spraying black paint on the Ingrowl's shoulder. "Throwing paint at Robin like that!"

"Well, hopefully next time we'll get deployed to lower Sahara, then we can have some beachtime fun!" Nick quipped as he continued using his own sprayer.

Judy shook her head. "Knowing Camazotz, she'd have us getting sand out of his joints!"

"Touché!" muttered Nick.

"They ought to just ban Labors from paint factories…" muttered Judy. Just then, a thought occurred to the grey rabbit. "Have you had experience with Labors?"

"Some. Worked with I.H.I. for a bit…" Nick muttered under his breath.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Apparently my work there made me qualified enough that they forwarded me a recruitment package for the ZPD's new Labor Division."

"What'd you do at I.H.I.?"

"Eh, some test work…"

Judy was flabbergasted. "You were a test pilot?!"

"Technically." Nick shrugged. "Most of what I did was just making sure joints and stuff did as they were told. I didn't do that much fancy stuff."

"Okay…" Judy stared at the slick new coat of black paint. "You never told me what made you join the police…"

Nick sighed. "I made mistakes, okay?! Let's leave it at that…"

_[[OST5]](https://youtu.be/dL83L-VU1Bc) _

Judy was surprised at Nick's sudden change of tone. She then remembered that there was still a lot she didn't know about the fox – and now it became doubtful that Nick would ever willingly confide in her about it.

Much as she hated to admit it, Nick Wilde – the mammal she depended on – was an enigma to her…

* * *

From the catwalk leading to the offices, Virginia Lee Foxape cast a leery eye over the rabbit as she stared at the fox.

That rabbit seemed to get lucky this one time. Sure she had improved since the Animazon deployment if the paint factory was anything to go by, but sooner or later, Hopps' emotional approach would get the better of her. Sooner or later, Lee would show what she could do.

Just who the hell did that rabbit think she was?!

* * *

"Well, it looks like Bogo's keeping busy!"

"Just as long as he _stays_ busy! That's what matters!"

"You really think he'll be that big of a problem?"

"You're the one that says we have to plan for every eventuality."

"True…"

"So when do we move forward?"

"Not just yet. I'm still putting things together. Haste makes waste as they say!"

"It had better be worth it…!"

"Oh, it will! It may take a while, but once everything falls into place, this entire city will be eating from our hands!"

* * *

**THIS IS AN AU, BUT IN TEN YEARS, WHO KNOWS…?**

_[[OST-PV]](https://youtu.be/ppx5VEej7BU) _

**NEXT TIME:**

**Judy:** " _RRRGH!_ I can't _stand_ it!"

 **Nick:** "Ooh boy… What'd I do now?"

 **Judy:** "Not you, _Lee_! What'll it take to get some _respect_ from her?!"

 **Lee:** "The fact is, I just don't think you're cut out to be a Zeeplabor pilot. You're letting your ego get in the way of your job."

 **Judy:** "Oh, gimme a break! Like _you_ don't have an ulterior motive!"

 **Nick:** "Uh, ladies…!"

 **Lee:** "Well then, why don't you put your money where your muzzle is?"

 **Judy:** "What were you thinking?"

 **Lee:** "You and me, in Labors – then we can settle it once and for all!"

 **Judy:** "You're on!"

 **Nick:** "You're not serious!"

 **Hylander:** "Back off, Wilde! This is an affair of honor!"

 **Nick:** "Oh, for the love of…!"

 **Judy:** "On the next _Zeeplabor_ , 'Playing the Possum'! _Target: Locked On!_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that this episode is over, here's that **important announcement** I was talking about. I've got good news and bad news.
> 
> The bad news is, since it's possible that IRL concerns may delay me, it'll be a while before the next episode comes (I'll still post the Labor Files entry for this episode though).
> 
> The good news is, this delay is also because I plan to write the next episode all in one go. I won't actually upload bits of it until I finish the whole thing. While there'll be a longer time until the next upload, there'll (hopefully) be shorter, more regular times in between the uploading of each part! Plus, while I'm uploading episode 3, I might get a jump on writing episode 4, so hopefully there'll be less of a gap between episodes in future!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **SPECIES NAMES AND EXPLANATIONS:**
> 
>  
> 
> Screwney: Bukharan Markhor ( _Capra falconeri heptneri_ ) - One look at a markhor's horns should tell you how Screwney got his name.
> 
>  
> 
>  **BACKGROUND MUSIC** :
> 
> 1) Kenji Kawai - "Approach" - from _Mobile Suit Gundam 00_
> 
> 2) Kenji Kawai - "Ready to Roll" ("Kidou Junbi Yoshi") - from _Earth Defense Dai-Guard_
> 
> 3) Kenji Kawai - "Beating" - from _Mobile Suit Gundam 00_
> 
> 4) Murray Gold - "Don't Stop Me Now (Instrumental)" - from _Doctor Who_
> 
> 5) Kenji Kawai - "Mocking in Summer" - from _Patlabor: The Movie_
> 
> PV) Kenji Kawai - "Scramble!" - from _Patlabor: The Mobile Police_ TV series


	12. Labor Files - UL-97 Bullfrog and FL-01 Bumpacrop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Just thought I'd upload this now, just to remind you that yes, I _am_ working on the next episode.

# UL-97 Bullfrog

 **Model Number:**  UL-97

 **Code name:**  Bullfrog

 **Use:**  Construction Labor

 **Manufacturer:**  Ushii Heavy Industries

 **Height:**  6.21 meters

 **Width:** 4.96 meters

**Weight:**

Standard: 7.83 metric tons

Full: 8.21 metric tons

 **Armour:**  Fiber reinforced material (aluminum/steel)

 **Maximum lifting capacity:** 4.2 metric tons

 ** _Patlabor_  analogue:** [HL-97 Bulldog](http://www.mahq.net/mecha/patlabor/patlabortv/hl-97.htm)

**Special Notes:**

  * Can perform underwater work up to 10 meters



* * *

# FL-01 Bumpacrop

 **Model Number:**  FL-01

 **Code name:**  Bumpacrop

 **Use:**  Agricultural Labor

 **Manufacturer:**  Fiverson Agricultural Equipment

 **Height:**  7.13 meters

 **Width:**  4.65 meters

**Weight:**

Standard: 6.98 metric tons

Full: 7.66 metric tons

 **Armour:** Fiber-reinforced plastic  & aluminum

 **Maximum lifting capacity:**  1.5 metric tons.

 ** _Patlabor_ analogue:** [EL-01 Housaku](http://www.mahq.net/mecha/patlabor/patlabortv/el-01.htm)

** Known Pilots: **

  * Stuart Hopps
  * Stuart Hopps Jr.
  * Judy Hopps



**Special notes:**

  * Has seen increased use in farming locales like Bunnyburrow
  * Can be equipped with a variety of attachments to suit different farming needs (e.g. a combine-harvester or spike roller attachment on the frontal abdomen)



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ushii Heavy Industries is a play on the _Patlabor_ company Hishii Heavy Industries, and the Japanese word for "bull".
> 
> Similarly, Fiverson Agricultural Equipment is a reference to Fiver, the rabbit character from _Watership Down_.
> 
> The Bumpacrop's name is (of course) a play on the phrase "bumper crop," which is roughly what "Housaku" - the name of the Bumpacrop's _Patlabor_ analogue - translates to.


End file.
